A different path
by FanF.addict1604
Summary: The tragedy in Trost has affected the minds of all members of 104th Training Corps, especially one 16 year old boy with ash brown hair. Tag along, as the boy changes his outlook in life and realizes his hidden potential to save Humanity from destruction. The path is a difficult one but with his friends and a special someone, he will overcome all the obstacles. Jean/Mikasa. JeanKasa
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys.**

 **I recently saw the show attack on titan and it completely blew my mind. The twists and turns and overall story is absolutely wonderful. However, my favorite character on the show is Jean. I know he is not the usual choice when asked about favorite character but the character development that he went through is one of the most drastic in the series.**

 **I am also a big fan of Jean/Mikasa pairing and think that it would be the coolest and most appropriate pairing for them. The SNK community is flooded with Eren/Mikasa pairing but it just doesn't hold that appeal for me. They are much better as siblings and Mikasa's character could've been even better if she was not fixated on Eren like she has been in the Anime( I have not read the Manga yet. Only seen a little summary).**

 **Also I would like to add that this is my first attempt at writing anything and constructive criticism is always welcome.**

 **Disclaimer : All the characters of this story are property of** ** _Hajime Isyama_** **. I don't own anything**

 **_Year 850**

The barracks were completely silent. All cadets were fast asleep, except one young man with unique spiky brown hair with a dark undercut and honey brown eyes. The boy's arms behind his head and his eyes looking at the ceiling for nothing in particular.

Sun's first rays shined through the window of his room signaling the beginning of a new day. As if the previous day's events were just a dream and he is going to see the bright faces of his friends from 104th Training Corps, running around and getting yelled at by their brutal instructor Shadis.

Everyone was exhausted, physically and emotionally from the events of day before. The day when Trost was invaded by the titans, exactly the way it happened 5 years ago in Shiganshina. Although there was minimal civilian casualties, a large number of military personnel fell in the attack, members of 104th Training Corps among them.

The brown haired boy , Jean Kirstein, was deep in thought. His goal in life was simple, join the training corps, rank in the top 10, head out to join the Military Police inside the safety of wall Sina and live a comfortable life without seeing the face of a single filthy titan. But as it turns out, life had other plans for him.

Just one day before their assignments, tragedy befell Trost and his life was turned upside down. The colossal titan broke through the gate and the mindless beasts swarmed the city. He almost died, only surviving because of pure luck as well as the sacrifice of his comrades. The comrades that he left behind with their fates sealed by the titans' jaws.

When everything looked lost, hope returned to humanity in the most unexpected form. Commander Pixis used that hope to lead humanity towards its first victory against the damned monsters. The mission to take back Trost was a success, but too many lives were lost for such a small step.

Among the list of casualties was his best friend, Marco Bodt.

Marco was an extremely rare person and one of the kindest people Jean had the privilege to meet. Everyone was fond of him and his easy going personality. Unlike him, the sole reason for Marco to join Military police was to change the corrupt system and faithfully serve the king.

 _What an idealistic idiot_.

But he was the only one who saw Jean's good qualities that he himself couldn't see. Everyone saw Jean as a self centered bastard who cares for no one but himself, someone who speaks what comes to his mind without caring for other person's feelings. He likes to think himself as a pragmatic person who only spoke facts without diluting them with fancy words.

This was the reason for his usual scuffles with Eren.

Eren Yeager is brash and very short tempered and would easily get into fights when his ideals are questioned. From day one he has been spouting about joining the survey corps and wipe out all the titans . He dreams of seeing the world beyond the walls, a dream which he shares with his childhood best friend Armin Arlert.

Although brash, his determination is solid. He never let anyone's comments get to him. On the first day of their training Yeager was not even able to stay straight in the balancing exercise but he didn't give up and succeeded eventually.

His idealism and Jean's realistic approach towards the world is one of the reasons that they never got along during their 3-year training.

Many times others had to break up their fights when things got violent. Most of the times it was Mikasa who intervened before it could escalate further.

 _Mikasa_

Jean sighed, just thinking about her would send butterflies through his stomach and his heart racing.

Mikasa Ackerman, the adoptive sister of Eren, was taken in by Yeagers when her own parents were murdered. Standing at a good height of 5"6 she has shoulder length black hair, pale white skin and an athletic build thanks to their gruesome training.

She is a prodigy among the 104th Training corps and was ranked 1 because of her skills. She is a quiet person who keeps to herself and Jean, in all the time spent with her had never once seen her laugh or express any kind of strong emotion.

He admires her strength and it is common knowledge among his comrades that he had a huge crush on her. When he met her for the first time, he was a boy attracted by her shiny black hair and her angelic features but as the time passed, his feelings grew as he saw her grow into a strong and reliable soldier. She surpassed every expectation. She was the perfect soldier, calm and composed, with perfect grasp on using her 3DM gear.

But what bothers him most is that she clings to Yeager all the time like a shadow, protecting him from the background. Jean could clearly see that her feelings were more than what should be for a sister but Eren was completely clueless to it. Eren treated her like an annoyance, not caring about her feelings. He takes out his frustrations on her, completely oblivious about the effect his words have on her.

No one noticed it but Jean could clearly see her eyes getting dimmer with every harsh word from Eren. She thinks that no one could notice the cracks in her usual stony facade but he knows what it feels to be dismissed so coldly by someone you love. He can see the sadness descending on her beautiful face and everytime he prays that he doesn't have to see her like that again.

Just thinking about Eren's dismissive attitude towards her care brought a scowl to Jean's face. What he would give to be in Eren's position. She deserved to be treated like a queen and pampered with praises and happiness. She is a unique creature, too difficult for them to comprehend but that suicidal idiot is too blind to see what is in front of him.

This was also a major reason why he always got angry at Eren and fought with him so often.

He was jealous.

Of all the idiots she could love, she chose that blockhead and Jean just can't understand what she sees in him.

But this was not the time to swell on such thoughts, he had a lot to think about. Marco's death has sparked something in him. His earlier goals seem so insignificant, so petty now that he has seen the horrors that titans have caused to humanity, joining the MPs seems futile and the only way to survive would be to take on the titans head on and hope for the best. The titans can just as easily break wall Sina and then where would they hide ?

He mentally snorted at himself. He was so critical of Yeager's ideals but they don't seem so idiotic to him now. Of course, he is not going to run around spouting nonsense about wiping out all the titans from the Earth's surface. He is still a realist but the future is a bit more clear now.

There is no other option left for him. He will join the Survey Corps and fight for humanity so that what happened yesterday would not be repeated again and no one else would have to see the nightmare that he went through.

The yesterday's events are difficult to process. The colossal titan emerging and disappearing out of nowhere,

watching the people that he had known for years getting devoured in front of his own eyes,

seeing a 15 meter abnormal titan kill its own kind and later Eren emerging out of the nape of the same titan,

participating in mission to take back the city of Trost and miraculously succeeding,

and finally seeing the dead body of his best friend, half eaten, and all alone with a scared expression. It will haunt him for the rest of his life

 _Hey Marco, I am joining the scouts, can you believe it? After all the time we spent talking about living in the interior. I always preached about how scouts were wasting their time and only had a death wish, now I will become one of them._ He sighed.

The sun had completely risen and all the cadets were waking up. Today marks an important day for humanity. Today Eren's fate will be decided by the court, whether he will be executed or his powers will be utilized for fighting against titans.

In spite of his personal disliking towards Eren, the suicidal blockhead was still his comrade and had helped them in Trost when it appeared that all was lost. He will do his best to ensure that Eren survives and provide them hope.

Hope that there is a chance for humanity to win.

Hope that everyone who died up until now didn't give their lives away for nothing.

Hope that one day they will explore what is beyond the walls without the fear of those human devouring behemoths.

After all, hope was all they had.

 **That's it for chapter one. I hope you liked it and all suggestions are welcome.**

 **Until next time**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer : All character in this fic are owned by** ** _Hajime Isayama._**

* * *

Everyone assembled in the courtroom watched as the judge took his seat. A man by the name of Darius Zachary, head of all 3 military branches - The Survey Crops, the Garrison and the Military Police Brigade. His decision would determine the young titan shifter's fate today.

On the left side of the room stood the Military Police along with their commander, Nile Dok. Also standing with them were Wall Cultists, a group of lunatics who worshipped the walls as if they were some kind of deities.

On the other hand, right side of the room was occupied by the members of Survey Corps. Captain Levi and Commander Erwin Smith among them. Mikasa, Armin and surprisingly Jean were also standing along with the scouts. Initially, commander Smith refused Jean's request to attend the trial but relented when Jean pointed out some logical reasons.

After all, he was one of the first persons to see Eren in his titan form as well as the shifter emerging out of the steaming titan's corpse. Also, unlike Mikasa and Armin, his view will not be considered biased by the court.

About 5 minutes later, Eren is escorted into the room by Hange Zoe and Miche Zacharius. He was handcuffed and those cuffs were then attached to the pole that stood in the middle of the room, hindering any movement . All eyes are now on the shifter, almost everyone vary of the boy. After all, it is not every day that you see a person who can transform into the very creature that has pushed mankind to the brink of extinction.

Only ones who are not scared by his presence are commander Smith, captain Levi and Eren's friends, especially Mikasa. Her eyes soften when she looks at Eren, relieved that he is okay. Jean is also relieved that they have not harmed the shifter. Yet.

"Now that everyone is here, this trial shall begin," said Zachary "Cadet Eren Yeager!"

"Yes sir." Eren replied loudly with slight fear in his tone.

"You will be defending yourself in this trial. It will decide whether you are a friend of humanity or its enemy. If you fail to defend yourself, you will be executed. Are the terms clear ?" Zachary questioned. Eren's friends stiffened at his words. What choice did he have ?

"Yes!" Eren said, becoming more nervous by the minute.

"Now I will hear both the sides. Commander Dok, I will hear your side first." said Zachary.

"Thank you sir. I propose that cadet Eren Yeager be put in the custody of Military Police so that we can experiment on him and find out more about titans and how to deal with them. Cadet Yeager will be dissected and all things we learn from his body would help us immensely in our war against titans. He will receive a respectful death and listed as a soldier who died on his duty to mankind." explained commander Dok with an expressionless face.

His explanation caused whispers to erupt in the court room as everyone was considering it as the most suitable course of action. While Jean, Armin and Mikasa were disgusted with the very idea of Eren being used as a lab rat, dissected and then tossed away just because of humans' fear of the unknown. They have known Eren for a long time and although he is brash and short tempered, his allegiance has always been with humanity.

Before anyone could say anything, the wall cultist known as Nick Pastor screamed "This creature is an abomination. A disgrace to the almighty lord. Keeping him inside our sacred walls would be an insult. I say KILL HIM WHERE HE STANDS!"

The lunatics' antics caused heavy commotion inside the courtroom.

"Order! Order," commanded Zachary. When the commotion finally died down a bit, he turned towards Pastor "Next time you will only speak when asked. Such behavior will not be tolerated inside the court," the whispers ceased and the priest looked like he wanted to say more but wisely stayed silent.

"Now, I will hear what the other side has to say about Eren Yeager". Everyone turned to Commander Erwin Smith. His side of case will be an important factor in affecting Zachary's decision.

"Thank you, your honour. My proposal for young Eren Yeager is to be transferred to the Survey Corps under my command. We can utilize his shifting capabilities to fight the titans and he will become a beacon of hope for humanity. The extent of his powers shall be tested by section commander Hange Zoe" proposed Erwin.

Many people now considering the scout commander's words. Having a titan at your side could change the tides of war between humans and titans that has been waging for the last 100 years, with humanity losing every time.

"Would you like to add anything else?" asked Zachary

"No, That's all sir" said commander Erwin.

Zachary was contemplating both sides to decide the best course of action that would help humanity in the war against titans. Finally, he directed his next question towards the shifter "Cadet Yeager, what do you fight for ? what is your aim ?"

Eren was surprised by such a question, but he didn't need to think twice before answering.

"I fight so that we can finally be free from the fear of titans and humans could explore the lands beyond the walls as is our right and my aim is to wipe out all the titans" Eren spoke with the same fire in his eyes that his fellow trainees had seen so many times during his speeches. Zachary was also impressed by his answer as well as his determination, but he had to make sure that he would not be a danger to them.

"And do you think that you can control your titan powers ? Because from the reports I have got, when you shifted into your titan form, the first thing you did was attack Mikasa Ackerman" Stated Zachary. At this, Eren's as well as Jean's eyes widened.

Jean took his eyes off Eren, looking at to Mikasa and confirm what Zachary said. However, Mikasa was busy glaring at Rico Brzenska for including that little incident in her report.

"What? Was I suppose to leave such an important detail in my official report?"whispered Rico defending herself. Jean could understand Rico's reasoning, but it didn't mean that he liked it. This could create a big problem for them.

"Is this true Ms. Ackerman ?" questioned Zachary

"Yes sir," said Mikasa. However she was not done" But he has also saved me and countless others when Trost was attacked." She pleaded to the court.

"Yes sir, it is true. If not for Eren, all of my squad mates would have died in breach of Trost district. He single handedly killed more than 20 titans and gave us a chance to retreat" this voice, surprisingly, was Jean's. Armin, Eren and Mikasa were shocked that he would say something like that, given his history with the shifter. Mikasa looked at him and he could see that she was grateful for his words. That alone was enough to make him happier than ever.

Zachary was considering the words of both the witnesses and just before he came to a decision, commander Dok interjected" Your honour. I would like to present a very disturbing event related to both Mr. Yeager and Ms. Ackerman's past," Zachary gave him a nod to continue "When cadet Yeager and cadet Ackerman were 9 years old, they murdered 3 grown men. This puts a question on their mental stability and emotional intelligence."

Jean was really shocked to hear this. He always knew there was some kind of dark past associated with Mikasa that led to her excluding herself socially. But he never expected that she had to kill someone at such a young age. Jean looked at her to see her reaction, but her eyes looked hollow. Bringing up such an event must have reopened some wounds.

He could never understand what she went through, but he would never judge her for her past. From what he has seen, she is a compassionate woman who deeply cares for others. Even if ninety percent of the time that care is directed towards Eren.

Court once again erupted into chaos, but this time people were openly questioning not just Eren's stability but Mikasa's too. Someone even went as far as to question if Mikasa was even human. This truly made Jean's blood boil but he calmed himself, getting riled up and acting on impulse would not help them is this situation

Jean noticed that there was a glint in Eren's eyes. One that he knew too well.

Eren was going to say something very stupid.

Jean was repeating only one thing in his mind - _Please don't screw up. Please don't screw up, Please don't screw up._

But as always, his luck didn't hold.

"How dare you cowards drag her into this. You have no right to judge her! You hide behind these walls, living your ignorant lives, just waiting for titans to eat you-" before Eren could continue his rant, a foot slammed onto his face with such an impact, that it sent a tooth flying out his mouth. The foot belonged to none other than captain Levi of the Survey Corps, also dubbed as 'Humanity's strongest soldier'. The beating that came after that was one that Jean would not forget anytime soon.

Mikasa watched in horror as Eren was being beaten to a pulp. She prepared to jump over the rails to help Eren from this sadist but she felt a firm hand on her shoulder that kept her from going there. She looked back and saw that Jean was the one who had stopped her from saving the young shifter. She glared at him but he returned her glare with a calm gaze.

"This is important for ensuring Eren's survival. If you try to help him now, it will only make it worse for him" He whispered calmly but his tone was firm. Mikasa contemplated his words and relaxed. However, it was still very difficult to watch Eren suffer like this and swore that she will make the short captain pay for what he is doing to her adoptive brother.

Finally, as Levi had finished beating Eren commander Erwin turned towards Zachary" As you can see sir, Captain Levi is more than enough to control Eren if he does go berserk. Even kill him if the need arises. I again request you to put Cadet Yeager under captain Levi's command. We will soon set out for its 57th Exterior scouting mission, you can decide cadet Yeager's fate depending on the result of the mission"

There was silence in the court room as General Zachary considered commander Erwin's offer. Keeping in mind that Eren was the reason for humanity's first victory against mankind and the trust that his fellow trainees had for him, General of all three military regiments decided to give the shifter a chance to prove himself.

Thus, the day's events ended with Eren put under the close watch of Survey Corps. They will train him, study his powers and control him if the need arises.

Section Commander Hange Zoe, or as Eren liked to call her 'The crazy scientist lady' was literally salivating at the thought of being able to study him. Especially after seeing him re-grow the tooth that Levi's kick had broken off.

 _"Things are going to be very interesting."_ Thought Jean with a sweatdrop

* * *

 **I'm sorry if the initial chapters are a little short and boring. Just trying to set up the base for future character development and hope that you will like the upcoming chapters.**

 **See ya guys later**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer : All character in this story are owned by** ** _Hajima Isayama._**

* * *

 _With Jean_

 _All around, as far as the eyes could see, there was only death. Large humanoid creatures grabbing human beings as if they are mere dolls and devouring them without any remorse or any sign of stopping._

 _All of his friends, Reiner, Bertholdt, Connie, Sasha, Armin already dead. He himself was extremely exhausted and couldn't go on much longer. There in front of him stood 3 titans, all over 10 meters with creepy smiles and large teeth that had blood on them. Blood of his comrades._

 _He could do nothing but stand there as the they closed in on him. There was a black and red blur and suddenly, the titan on the right fell forward, its nape cut clean off. The other 2 titans, seeing this, lost interest in him and tried to find the human that killed one of their kind._

 _And then Jean finally saw what had caused the death of the titan on the right. It was none other than Mikasa Ackerman, the strongest to graduate from their batch and the second strongest soldier of humanity._

 _" No MIKASA!" shouted Jean, fearing for her safety "What are you doing ? get out of here. Don't be stupid."_

 _She either didn't hear him or completely ignored him and continued her assault on the remaining titans._

 _The titan in the middle tried to grab her but she shot her cable towards the titan's knee and evaded it. With a smooth mid air summersault she fired her cable towards the titan's nape and within a second the second titan fell. She let her guard down for a second and that is all it took for the last remaining titan to grab her._

 _She tried to struggle against the behemoth's grasp but it was useless. Jean stood there with horror stricken face, unable to do anything as the titan was about to devour the woman that he cared for most in the world. Just as the titan was going to devour her, she looked at him and their eyes met for a second, and all Jean saw in her eyes was disappointment and acceptance._

 _The titan brought Mikasa body up to its mouth and bit down_

Jean screamed as he woke up from one of the worst nightmares he ever had. He looked around and saw that he didn't wake anyone, which was a relief. He brought up his hands to rub the sleep from his eyes but noticed that his eyes and cheeks were wet.

He was crying.

He saw that it was still early and sun will not rise for the next hour. But he doesn't think that he can go back to sleep again. This particular nightmare shook him to the core.

" _Why am I so pathetic ?"_ he cursed himself mentally.

When he reflects back on his life, he can say that he has never done anything worthwhile in his life. He kept dreaming about the interior and how good his life will be once he gets there. He didn't care about his training or being the best. Only thought that remained in his mind was being in the top 10. It didn't matter if he was ranked ten or number one.

Such pathetic ambitions. Maybe this is the reason that even though his 3DM maneuvering skills were on par if not better than Mikasa, he still ranked sixth. Even below that suicidal maniac. He didn't try to improve his technique or strength. He didn't give sufficient time to training to hone his instincts.

Maybe if he had given his all during those three years under Shadis, he may have ranked second, or who knows first and could've been more helpful in Trost. Maybe less lives would've been lost if he himself had fought the titans head on instead of entirely depending on Mikasa.

Marco said that he was a natural leader. But who would want to follow a weak leader. A leader who has only slain 2 titans in his life, those two also with help of someone else or by pure luck. Hell, _he_ himself wouldn't follow such a pathetic leader.

He has to do something about his weaknesses. Of course, he wouldn't become as strong as Mikasa overnight, but he at least had to start somewhere. He had seen the survey corps in action, especially captain Levi, the way he slew those two titans who were going to attack Eren, Armin and Mikasa.

He was literally like a storm, killing titans as if cutting through grass.

The scouts have inspired him tremendously and he will do his best to stand on equal footing with them and someday even surpass 'Humanity's strongest soldier'. But first things first, today is the day when the new recruits will be assigned to the military branch of their choice. Of course, only top 10 would be given the option to choose MP, but choosing to be in the interior is the farthest thing from his mind right now.

He got up and went to outside to get some fresh air. All that thinking is really stressing him out and maybe a peaceful walk is just what he needs to clear his head. He welcomed the cool morning breeze brushing against his skin.

He was walking around the square when he saw a lone figure sitting on a bench near a fountain. The person had black hair and was wearing a pink sweater, but what caught his attention was the red scarf that was tied around her neck. It was a dead giveaway.

He walked towards her and once he reached there he sat on the bench beside her, with a good amount of distance between them. He didn't want to intrude in her personal space, also, he didn't know how to approach her. Jean wanted to say something but the words just weren't escaping his usually loud mouth.

She seemed to be in deep thought, she didn't even notice his arrival

"Hey." Jean finally said. _"Well at least I didn't embarrass myself by saying something completely stupid."_

His voice broke her out of her day dream and looked towards him with those calm grey eyes. Eyes which had the power to enchant him with just a single glance. Jean looked away in embarrassment, his cheeks flushed a little. He was praying to whatever gods were up there that she wouldn't notice.

"Hey." she replied, noticing the redness that had crept up to his cheeks. It amused her, but she didn't voice it out.

"What are you doing here so early ?" He asked. It was only 05:30 AM in the morning. Their chores won't start until seven.

"Nothing. Just thinking about recent events." she said in her signature emotionless voice. But Jean could guess the reason for her restlessness. Although they had won the trial, they would still not be able to see Yeager as he is assigned with captain Levi's squad right now and is under strict orders to remain in whatever location they are currently residing.

"You're sad because you can't see the suicidal blockhead, aren't you ?" Jean asked in a sad yet understanding tone.

Her eyes widened at how accurately he was able to read her. She didn't say anything further and her silence was all the answer he needed. A pang of jealousy shot through him. He would gladly give up his life just to have all that care directed towards him. Yeager had no idea how lucky he is to have such a wonderful person look after him.

They fell into a comfortable silence. Jean didn't want to say anything further because it will only prove how hopeless he is when it comes to the raven haired beauty sitting beside him.

"Thank you." her voice broke the silence. Jean looked at her with a confused gaze, not understanding the reason for her gratitude.

"For what ?" He asked.

"Yesterday in the trial. You stood up to defend Eren and also stopped me from jumping over and making an impulsive mistake. Because of you Eren was able to live." She explained. This took Jean by surprise. He was not expecting gratitude for his actions yesterday since he was only looking out for a friend ,and no matter his personal feelings, he would never let any of his comrades die if he has the power to save them.

"No need to thank me for that. I admit I am not a big fan of Yeager," said Jean " but that doesn't mean that I would let him die. All our friends from 104th are important and I won't let anything happen to them if I can do something about it."

He saw Mikasa's lips turn up slightly and it was one of the most beautiful sights that Jean had seen in his life. It was not a complete smile, but in his books it was progress. Although progress towards what ? he will never know.

"As for restraining you, I knew that what captain Levi did was brutal," he continued "But it was the reason why Eren was pardoned."

"He will pay for what he did with Eren" A dark shadow fell over Mikasa's face. He felt stupid for bringing up that even. Just few moments back, she was looking so angelic with a little smile on her beautiful face but he just had to ruin that perfect moment.

 _"I really am an idiot"_ he mentally sighed.

"Today is the day of assignment. I don't think I need to ask which branch Armin and you will join." He changed the topic. He finally saw the dark look slowly fade away.

 _"Never bring up that topic up again, Kirstein"_ he thought

"Armin and I will join the scouts," she said "What about you ?"

"The scouts for me as well." he replied. This surprised raven haired girl. Wasn't this the guy that kept getting into fights with Eren, just because of Eren's desire to join the scouts, calling him stupid and a suicidal maniac. The Jean she knew would join the MP without any second thought.

Jean saw the confused expression on her face.

"A lot has happened in the last couple of days. I had heard stories of the carnage that the titans could inflict, but seeing it firsthand is another experience altogether. Also, Marco died in liberating Trost," his voice wavered a little. Mikasa's eyes widened. She didn't know about their friend's demise.

"I saw his body when I was walking through Trost, half eaten with a scared expression on his face. He died alone and no one knows what happened to him."

Although in the last two days he was coming to accept his best friends' death. But saying it out aloud in front of someone else has again re-opened the wound that he was trying so desperately to bury. He didn't notice but his fists were clenched and he had drawn blood from his right hand. He felt a soft hand on his right hand. He took his eyes up and saw that it was hers.

Her expression didn't change much but he could see the sadness in her eyes. She could not understand his pain but wanted to support him. The man in front of her was not the annoying brat that she had come to know in her years of military training. He was no longer the self centered boy whose only aim in life was to survive and live his life comfortably, everyone else be damned. The person in front of her had seen the destruction caused by war and lost people close to him.

The experience of Trost, although horrid, has done good for the brown haired boy. No, man. He took the lead when it mattered and most of their friends are alive because of him. He grew up in a couple of days more than he grew up in the last 3 years of training.

They sat in silence, both mourning their fallen friend. They saw that sun almost completely up. Time was 06:30 AM, they didn't realize but they have been sitting there for an hour. Both feeling lighter than when they arrived.

Soldiers were waking up and life started bustling around the barracks. They also had to carry out their morning routine and duties but both of them were reluctant to leave the comfortable space that they had developed for themselves.

"It's time to go," it was surprisingly Jean who broke the silence. Mikasa didn't say anything, just nodded and both got up "So, uh..." Jean was standing there awkwardly, not knowing what to do or say. This was the first time he spent such a long time with Mikasa, without something interrupting them.

"I'll uh... see you around ?" spoke Jean timidly. Mikasa hid a small smile behind her red scarf. That was twice now that he had made her smile.

Mikasa didn't say it but she also enjoyed his company. He is a good listener and didn't treat her presence like an annoyance, unlike her adoptive brother. She hasn't felt so comfortable in a long time. feeling disappointed that they have to return to their screwed up lives.

"Yes," she replied and turned back "Bye Jean."

She started walking away, Jean wanted to say something but words didn't come to him so he just stood there until she disappeared. He wanted to slam his head on a wall, but still, today was the first time that he had an actual conversation with Mikasa and they both had enjoyed it. Well, he hoped that she enjoyed it too.

Today a little hope has been reignited that he may have a chance with the oriental woman but he dared not have his expectations raised too high, they could just as easily be crushed. He had other things to worry about. First, he had to join the scouts and then train himself to catch up with Mikasa. Right now, he stood nowhere near the skill level of someone like her. She had earned the title of 'War Goddess' and he'll be damned if he let her leave him in the dust again.

Today marks the beginning of a new journey in Jean Kirstein's life and this time he will be prepared for whatever comes in his way.

 _With Mikasa_

Today's morning was quite unexpected but a pleasant one nonetheless. She was not able to sleep properly. Worried about Eren and wondering if he was being treated properly by the scouts. Yesterday's trial was mentally exhausting for her. She never expected them to bring up the event from 6 years back and it had opened up old wounds.

She was surprised that they were able to dig up that incident and when people had started questioning her mental stability, it took all her willpower to stop herself from breaking down right there. How could they judge her like that ? Most of them have not gone through even half of what she has suffered.

However, the worst of all was when Eren was getting beaten up by the short captain. After first few hits, she had decided that it was enough and she had to interfere but was stopped by Jean. She wanted to beat him up as well, but when she saw his eyes, they were stern and hard. It made her reconsider her actions and she is grateful for that because if she had intervened, Eren may have been executed or worse, dissected and experimented on by the Military Police.

Since she couldn't sleep, she decided to go for a walk. It was a chilly morning with a cold breeze blowing, so she tightened her favourite scarf around her neck After 10 minutes of wandering, she sat down on the bench looking at the fountain in front of it. It was nothing fancy, just a regular fountain with some floral design but her mind was occupied by her adoptive brother.

She was deep in thought and didn't hear another person sitting next to her until she heard a familiar voice greeting her. She was surprised to see Jean there but greeted him back.

For the next half hour they talked about recent events and she was starting to enjoy his company but when he told her about Marco's death, she was shocked which immediately turned into sadness. She was not very close to Marco, or anyone else for that matter, but she knew that he was a good person. He was very polite and caring guy and the most tolerable guy for her outside Eren and Armin. He was too young and kind hearted for such a horrible fate.

This made her realize that how many lives have been lost to take back Trost and protect Eren. She would forever be grateful to every person who gave up their lives for mankind's cause.

She could see that the worst affected by his death is the ashen haired man and she doesn't know what comes over her to hold his hand. It did seem to work as he visible relaxes from her touch and she feels happy that she is able to comfort him in some way.

She questioned Jean about which branch he will enroll for and his answer surprised her . She listened to his reasoning and was impressed by the change in him. After that, they fell in a comfortable silence. This is the most relaxed she has been in the last 72 hours and she didn't want this bubble of peace to be broken.

But as most good things come to an end, they had their duties to perform and report to their superiors. They exchanged goodbyes, although Jean was starting to become flustered. This amused Mikasa but she hid her smile behind her scarf and walked away. She could feel his gaze on her back as she retreated to the female side of barracks.

A smile adorning her face the entire way.


	4. Chapter 4

_Evening_

Everyone had been gathered in the field with a small stage in the middle. There were numerous nervous and confused faces. Now that all of them had seen a titan, willingness to join the survey corps was declining rapidly.

Only ones who didn't appear nervous were Mikasa, Reiner, Jean and Annie. The former 3 had already decided to join the scouts and didn't look like they could be persuaded otherwise, while the latter wanted to join the Military Police, as she had stated in the past. There was no changing minds of these four.

Other members of the 104th training corps were in a dilemma. Connie, Sasha and Christa were extremely nervous. All three of them had the option to join the MP but they had seen what the titans could do and there was no guarantee that what happened to wall Rose wouldn't happen to wall Sina as well. Also, most of their friends were joining the scouts and would be risking their lives for the sake of humanity, how could they just stand behind and watch them put their lives on the line.

Commander Erwin Smith walked to the stage and addressed all the cadets that were assembled "Today is a very important day of your lives. Today you will be deciding which branch of military you would be joining. All of you who wish to join the scouts, I would like to be completely honest with you. The death rate in the Survey Corps is 60%. Not a very good number. Most of you will not survive for more than one year after enrollment. But all of those who survive, would be the mankind's strongest and bravest soldiers!" He let that settle in as murmurs broke out throughout the crowd "All those who still wish to join the Survey Corps stay here, rest can go back."

Slowly, people started dispersing as only a handful of people remained. Annie left without glancing back, her resolve to join MPs as solid as ever. Though, what came as a shock to others from 104th training class was Jean staying back to join the Survey Corps as well.

"All those who are still here have proved that they are willing to die for the sake of humanity and I salute you for your bravery. Starting tomorrow, your life as a scout will begin and I hope that all of you survive and give your best for serving humanity." Finished commander Erwin with the soldier's salute to the remaining cadets.

"I can't believe that we all joined the scouts," this voice belonged to Connie Springer "Especially you Jean, I thought you were going to join the MPs for sure."

"Yeah, last few days made me reconsider," the boy in question replied.

Everyone fell silent at that, news of Marco's death had spread among their friends and everyone was sad to hear of his death. It was a hard fact for them to swallow but it has served to open their eyes to the dangers of their chosen field.

"What's done is done. All we can concentrate right now is the future, Marco wouldn't want us to dwell in the past. Stop moping around." Jean continued seeing the sad faces of his friends. Dwelling on such thoughts would do them no good.

"Spoken like a true soldier" said Reiner, he was also impressed by this change in the brown haired boy. Everyone agreed with Jean's words. They can't bring him back but they can keep fighting to preserve the memory of their fallen friend.

Mikasa, although impressed by his words, truly knew what the boy was feeling. He did a good job of masking his true emotions from the world but she was not fooled. She could understand his situation very well, since she herself hid behind her mask of indifference, bottling down her feelings in the deepest recesses of her mind.

"Never thought I would hear wise words from horse-face." teased Connie.

Jean's eye twitched at hearing that damned nickname that the motor mouth Yeager had bestowed him and didn't feel bad when he punched the shorter boy. Everyone laughed at Connie's expense as he was lying on the ground with stars in his eyes.

In truth Jean was glad that the somber mood was lifted. What he didn't know was that a raven haired beauty was having similar thoughts.

Mikasa watched the her friends' antics and even smiled a little when Jean punched Connie for his comment. She wanted her friends to enjoy these peaceful moments where their thoughts weren't constantly plagued by the titans. But that is only wishful thinking. Their lives are going to be changed completely, especially with the 57th exterior scouting expedition coming up in a couple of months.

They stayed there and chatted for another half an hour but seeing that it was quite late, they decided to call it a day. Gradually everyone retreated to their dorms until the only ones left were Jean and Mikasa.  
Mikasa too bid him goodnight and turned but his voice stopped her.

"Wait Mikasa," Jean blurted " I wanted ask.. no, request something from you ?"

"Yes ?" She asked curiously. What could the brown haired boy want from her ?

"I uh... wa" He cursed himself mentally. Of all the times that his brain could decide to stop cooperating, why did it have to be now ? She just had that effect on him, especially with her beautiful and awfully distracting eyes.

Mikasa waited for him but soon impatience started seeping in when he didn't say anything for another couple of minutes.

"If you don't have anything to say then I'm leaving. Good Night." She finally said.

"MIKASA WOULD YOU TRAIN ME?!" He blurted out, louder than what was necessary, his face dusted pink with embarrassment.

Her eyes widened. To say she was surprised would be an understatement. Out of all the things that she had expected from him, a request to be trained by her was not one of them. She stood there in complete silence for a complete minute not able to comprehend the reason for such a request.

"Why ?" she finally asked.

"For the entire span of three years that we spent in training, my only goal in life was to join the MP and thought that I would never have to see the face of a titan in my life. I only made efforts where it was necessary to get into top 10, maybe that's why I was useless in Trost. I never trained to kill a titan, my only purpose to become a soldier was to life a save luxurious life" He admitted shamefully " So I want to correct those past mistakes and finally become someone who can actually contribute towards mankind. I want to become a soldier, in which his comrades can put their trust"

She just stood there, listening to his reasons. Despite his initial motivations, the brown haired boy has come a long way in an extremely short period of time. He has shown that he is a good person deep down and can easily take the role of a leader when the situation demands. Two qualities that Mikasa respected in a person.

"As for why I am asking you is simple. You are the strongest cadet from 104th training corps and one of the strongest soldiers alive. Only ones who can compete with you are veteran scouts who have been fighting titans for years." He continued "I will understand if you will decline as you have-"

"Yes." she simply said.

"more import-" He stopped when his brain finally processed her answer " What ?"

"I said yes, I will help you" she replied. Her voice having a bit of warmth as against her usual stony tone.

Jean couldn't believe that she said yes. He had already prepared himself to be rejected by her, so it took a little time to accept that she has said yes. But once his shock wore off, his baffled expression was replaced by an elated one. Not only will he train under the top graduate from their batch, but he will also get to spend more time with the girl he adored.

When he looked up he saw that Mikasa also had a small smile on her face. She looked like an angel standing there and Jean was not able to take her eyes off her. After almost a minute, which seemed like eternity to him, he finally gained some semblance and took his eyes off her, looking anywhere but her, a blush clearly visible on his face.

She was amused seeing him getting all flustered and almost laughed at his blush but didn't say anything that would further embarrass him. Seeing that it was getting late and they could get into trouble if seen out of their dorms, Mikasa bid him goodnight and sauntered towards her room.

Jean also turned to walk towards his room with today's events going over his head. Morning he spent with Mikasa, all his friends joining the scouts and finally Mikasa agreeing to train him.

Today was undoubtedly one of the best days of his life and there was a spring in his step the entire way to his room. He almost tripped once or twice.


	5. Chapter 5

**The last chapter was kind of short. That's why I am uploading Chapter 5 along it. Do comment what you think about it and follow if you like it.**

 **Disclaimer : All characters of this fic are intellectual property of Hajime Isyama. I don't own any of them.**

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Sun shined through the window in the barrack waking up the slumbering cadets. The first to get up were Reiner and Bertholdt, others following shortly after.

As everyone assembled in the mess hall, they exchanged greetings and sat down to eat their breakfast, which consisted of a loaf of bread, an egg and some soup. Not the most appetizing meal, but with the recent shortage in food supplies, every meal was a godsend. The only one missing from the table was Armin

"So when are you going to the interior Annie ?" asked Connie, his voice laced with his usual enthusiasm.

The girl in question just looked at him with a stony expression. She really wasn't a morning person.

"We'll leave today after breakfast."

After that no one tried to initiate any conversation. Suddenly Armin burst into the hall, running to their table after spotting them. He was panting and Jean looked up with surprise, wondering what could be the reason for his haste.

He informed the group someone had killed the two titans that were being used as test subjects. This news didn't surprise most of them and they all speculated that it must have been done by someone who had lost someone important to the titans and it was just an act of revenge. But when Jean looked at Armin, he could see that he was hiding something, however, he would question him when they are alone.

All the people had to get their 3DM gear checked to find out who used it to kill those test subjects.

After breakfast, everyone lined up for inspection of their 3DM gear, Armin was helping the person inspecting the gears. When it was Annie's turn to get her gear checked, Armin's eyes widened for a second, but he didn't voice it out.

From what Jean has learned in the past, you should never underestimate the short blonde boy from Shiganshina. He may not have the best skills when it comes to physical training but he is nothing short of genius when it comes to academics and strategy. He is definitely the smartest guy in the 104th cadet corps. Jean decided that he would question Armin's reaction later when they were alone.

All cadets' gears were inspected but they were still not able to catch the culprit. Jean had a bad feeling that this was more than just about a person looking for revenge.

After inspection as everyone went to their assigned tasks, Mikasa and Jean were walking together. He knew that Armin must have talked to Mikasa if he suspected something.

" I have a bad feeling about this incident." confessed Jean.

"Yes. Armin came to me when everyone had left. He said this is more than revenge" she stated

"Then that means that someone doesn't want us to learn more about the titans" He said. He looked at Mikasa, hoping that she would deny his statement but she just nodded not saying anything else.

So there was a traitor in their midst, someone who is working alongside the colossal and armored titans. Maybe someone among the scouts IS the colossal or armored titan, having shifting ability like Yeager's. Though it is still too early to draw any solid conclusions.

"Do you want to train right now ?" her voice broke his chain of thoughts.

He didn't have anything to do right now. Starting tomorrow, they would be learning about the formation for the upcoming scouting mission.

"Well, sure. Right now is as good a time as any" he replied with a little nervousness in his voice. And here he thought that asking her for training is difficult. They went to the training area in the forest, where the members could practice with their 3DM gear.

 _Inside the forest_

She led him to an obstacle course which was designed for new recruits. It had twenty titan cutouts with hardened rubber on the area where the nape should be. On an average it took 8 minutes to complete the course by a regular trainee.

"Try this course once," she instructed "I will assess your weaknesses."

Jean nodded and took a deep breath remembering all the times he practiced the same exercise during training. After few seconds he launched his gear towards his first target going at a very fast pace and sliced its nape within seconds. He twisted his hips and shot his cable perpendicular to his second target and made parallel cuts on the second target as well.

He continued the exercise and it was refreshing to feel the air brush past him at high speed. He always felt like a bird when using his 3DM gear, lost in an entirely different world. Free from the problems of the real world. The cage that confined him didn't exist when using his 3DM gear and using it was like second nature to him.

Mikasa watched his performance, keeping the time. When he got back to her, she showed that he took 6 minutes and 47 seconds to complete the course. He felt that it was not extraordinary but a good performance nonetheless. But he wanted to hear what she had to say about his performance.

"How did I do ?" He asked her

"It was okay," she stated flatly "you waste a lot of movements and had to touch the ground twice during the course. Also, your grip on your swords should be firm but should allow flexible movement of your wrists. The cuts you made on the last 5 titans were not deep enough to kill a real titan" she concluded.

Jean deflated a little at her analysis, but appreciated her complete honesty. She didn't try to sugarcoat her words just to spare his feelings. This was one of the reasons that he has such strong feelings for the girl in front of him. She is not an idealist like her adopted brother, she sees the world as it is. A view shared by both of them.

"Why don't you try this obstacle course once ?" he asked, curious to see how she would fare in this exercise. She simply nodded and got into position.

Jean was the one keeping the time, and once he signaled her to begin, she shot off like a bullet and started slicing makeshift titan napes one after the other. He saw that the cuts she made were almost twice as deep as him. Her technique flawless and she didn't need to touch the ground even once.

Watching her is like watching a beautiful yet deadly dance. Her movements enraptured him, binding him in her spell. His mind and body completely paralyzed. Once she sliced the last titan nape, Jean almost forgot to stop the timer..

But once he saw the time, it left him completely stunned. It took her only 3 minutes and 5 seconds to complete the obstacle course. That was less than half the time he took. This just showed that how far behind her he is and how amazing she is. He can see why she was the number one graduate from their class.

Instead of becoming de-motivated, his determination was fueled further. He hoped that someday he would stand on equal footing as the raven haired war goddess in front of him, maybe even surpass her. However, that dream is still a long way from now.

After resting for ten minutes she ordered him to repeat the course. This time he took 6 minutes and 42 seconds. Only an improvement of five seconds. She gives him another short water break, also pointing out flaws in his technique and making him repeat the course.

This goes on for 6 hours, only taking a break for lunch in-between. By the end of that time his performance is declining instead of improving. His level of endurance pushed to its extreme limit.

His best performance today was doing it in 6 minutes and 32 seconds. Not a very significant improvement but Mikasa was satisfied by it.

She decided that it is enough for one day as the sun is also going down and it would be dinner time soon. Mikasa didn't outwardly show it but she was impressed by the brown haired boy's endurance. In those 5 hours he had completed the course 9 times. Not many could go on for such long periods before their body is fatigued. If he keeps this up, he may even give her a run for her money, since all he needs is a lot of practice.

With his amount of energy and endurance, she doesn't think that it will take him much time to catch up.

"Thank you." he said as they were walking towards the mess hall. She turned to him with confused eyes.

"Why ?" she asked

"For helping me," he said "I have made more progress today, than I have made in the last six months. Also, you were amazing today and it has inspired me to do better myself. So thank you."

He smiled at her, which for some reason made her nervous and a little pink dusted her cheeks. No one except Eren has ever made her blush before. She hides it with her scarf, hoping that he doesn't notice. After a second or two she controls her reaction and returns his smile with a smile of her own

"You don't have to thank me," she stated "It is the least I could do after you helped Eren and I in the courtroom. Also, your reasons for becoming strong are quite similar to mine."

"What is your reason for becoming strong ?" he asked her, hoping that her answer would be different from what he is thinking.

"To protect the one I love," she answered without a second thought "I don't want to lose my family again."

She didn't notice but her words deeply cut the brown haired boy walking beside her. Of course he knows the person she is talking about. Her entire world revolves around him and she would gladly give up her life for him. How lucky that Suicidal blockhead is.

It didn't affect him as much when they were trainees but now that he has got to know her and spent time with her. It feels even worse. Spending more time with her would only add up to the ache he will feel in the end but he just can't stop himself from being in her company. Completely trapped, he already accepted his fate, whatever it may be.

As they say, love is one of the most irrational and stupid feeling in the world and he wouldn't change his feelings even if he could.

But she is right about one thing, they do have the same goal. Only the person that he wants to protect is standing right in front of him.

They took their tray of food and sat with their friends. They sat together with Jean in the middle with Mikasa on his left and Connie to his right, Armin and Sasha sat on the opposite side of the table and Reiner and Bertholdt sitting adjacent to them.

"How was your day ?" asked Connie.

"Nothing much, I just walked around and got familiar with the place." replied Sasha.

"You were trying to find the food storage, weren't you ?" stated Connie with a sweat drop, but was ignored by the potato girl who just kept eating with an innocent face. Jean sighed, she is just a bog trouble magnet.

"What about you Jean ? How was your date with Mikasa today ?" asked Connie.

He choked on the water he was drinking and it took a minute for his throat to clear as everyone watched with amused faces. When he looked at Connie, he saw a smirk on his face. Sly bastard. How did he get to know about their training ? And what did he mean by DATE ?

"What do you mean ?" Jean pretended to be ignorant.

"Don't hide from us. I saw you and Mikasa go into the forest together after our 3DM gears were inspected" He said in a smug tone. Jean wanted to punch him again like yesterday but that would only make the rumours worse. All their friends were watching the two for confirmation of Connie's statement.

"We were just doing some training," clarified Jean "Mikasa was giving me pointers to improve my 3DM gear technique."

"Yeah, I'm sure she was working on your _technique,"_ shorty just didn't know when to shut up did he ?

But a glare from Mikasa was all it took for him to sweat bullets. She didn't like what he was insinuating one bit.

"Ahh...y- you know I am just joking M-Mikasa," Connie laughed nervously trying to placate the raven haired war goddess.

"Is that true Mikasa ? About the training part, I mean," Asked Armin. The girl in question just nodded "Well then it is a good thing that Jean is taking his training seriously, we would need to be at our best if we want to survive the 57th expedition 2 months from now."

Grim atmosphere developed at the table, everyone having the similar thoughts. How many of them will be able to survive the expedition. The survival rate in such scouting expeditions was quite low as stated by Commander Erwin. Seeing this gloomy atmosphere, Armin changed the subject.

"Today a scout informed me that we can visit Eren tomorrow," he informed the group "He is staying in a castle not far from here. It is half an hour ride to get their"

Everyone brightened at the idea of seeing their friend after the events in the last few days, but no one was happier than Mikasa. He saw that her face brightened at the news which sent another pang of jealousy to shoot through him but he didn't want to dwell on that any further. It is a lost cause anyway.

"Really ? that's good. The last time I saw him was when we were up at the wall, cleaning canons before the Trost invasion," said Connie "So when will we head out to visit him ?"

" After our class," replied Armin "tomorrow we will learn about the formations for the expedition and the flares used by the scouts."

Jean frowned at this. He was hoping that he could start training after their class but if they go to visit Yeager then he won't get much time to train but when he looked at the raven haired oriental, he could see that she was eager to meet her adoptive brother.

 _"There is no choice"_ he sighed

After that, everyone engaged in small talk, Jean didn't care much for it so he silently ate his dinner. From the corner of his eyes he could see Sasha and Connie bickering about something, Armin was talking with Reiner and Bertholdt. He has noticed that since the last few days, both have been quieter than usual. Bertholdt he could understand since he never said much before but even Reiner was awfully quiet.

Maybe it was just his imagination, after all, he himself has changed a lot in the last few days.

Mikasa was also silent as she usually is, just eating her food silently. He didn't know what she was thinking about right now since her expression didn't give anything away.

Slowly everyone started getting up to put their trays away and retire for the day until only ones remaining at the table were Jean, Mikasa and Armin.

Jean remembered that he had to ask him about his behavior during the inspection

"Hey Armin," the brown haired boy got his attention "Today during the inspection, you looked surprised during inspection of Annie's gear. What happened ?"

"What!?," the short blonde boy looked surprised for being questioned about that "I.. It was... nothing. I just had a thought back then. No-nothing too serious"

Jean could tell that something was up and Armin was not being completely honest and looking at Mikasa's expression, he could see that she too was unconvinced by Armin's act but they did not push him.

Armin would tell them when he feels is the right time and Jean trusted his judgment. But still, he wondered what could have surprised the blonde genius so much during the check.

After that, Armin excused himself and went to his room leaving only Mikasa and him at the table.

"Will we be training tomorrow ?" asked Jean trying to break the silence.

"If we get back before sundown after visiting Eren" she replied.

They didn't know what else to talk about so they just finished their own meals and went back to their respective dorms.

Jean laid there on his bed with his hands tucked behind his head, staring at the ceiling.

He was thinking about his training today and how much he improved because of Mikasa. He was able to reduce 15 seconds in his time to complete the obstacle course, but it was nothing compared to how Mikasa did it.

The way she moved was graceful and precise and her lithe body really packed a lot of strength. How could such a small body have so much power was beyond him but he will have to surpass her if he wants to protect her instead of always relying on her.

" _Tomorrow will be quite interesting. Maybe Eren and I will get into another fight, just for the sake of old days"_ he thought chuckling to himself.

He may have not liked the titan shifter in the past because of his absurd goals but now he himself was clinging to such ridiculous dreams.

Also he has no choice but to tolerate his insufferable temper because no matter what happens, Eren would always be a big part of Mikasa's life.

He sighed.

Jean drifted off to the dream world with an image of Mikasa's face with a happy expression. An expression he would love to see more often on her face

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 **I hope you guys enjoyed the last two chapters. I know that my writing really has got a lot of room for improvement and suggestions are always welcome.**

 **Until next time**


	6. Chapter 6

_The Next Day_

As they came out of the class, Connie was constantly complaining about how boring the class was. Everyone can't help but agreed with him.

Today they were taught about the use of different flares. For instance, Green means clear, Red means a titan is spotted and Black for a deviant. In addition they were being taught about the formations and how to react in a certain situation.

No doubt Armin had already perfectly memorised everything that was taught to them today.

Now came the time for which Mikasa had been waiting quite eagerly. The ones going to visit Eren were Mikasa, Armin, Jean and Connie. Others had duties assigned to them today, so they would not be able to go with them.

They bid farewell and got on their horses, their green capes with wings of freedom flowing behind them. The ride to the castle took around half an hour and when they reached the castle, they saw that Eren was standing outside the castle with the glasses wearing crazy scientist lady, Hange Zoe was her name as Mikasa remembered.

Eren was surprised to see his friends and excused himself from section commander Hange. As soon as he reached them Mikasa quickly tackled him with a hug and started fussing over him like he was a little toddler.

"They are not treating poorly are they ?" she asked in a worried voice "That midget captain didn't hurt you did he ?"

At the last words, a dark shadow fell over her face that scared everyone but Eren was quite annoyed by her.

"Yes Mikasa, I'm fine. You don't need to watch over me like my mother," he replied in an irritated tone "As for captain Levi. He is not a bad person, he only did what was necessary for my survival."

Although Mikasa was saddened by his tone, she still didn't stop her inspection for any injuries.

"I can't believe that you all joined the scouts," he said, looking at the others "Who else joined ?"

"Everyone from our class except Annie," told Armin "Reiner, Bertholdt, Ymir, Krista and Sasha"

Eren deflated when he heard that Annie didn't join them, but wasn't surprised by the news. He always knew she wouldn't hesitate to join the MPs.

"Yeah," said Connie "How have you been Eren ? and how has your training been going under captain Levi ? "

"Training has been fine but let me tell you that Captain Levi is one of the biggest clean-freaks that I have ever seen. The guy has some kind of problem," the shifter said with a shudder "But he is definitely one of the strongest persons I have seen and I can see why he is called 'Humanity's strongest soldier'."

"What surprises me though is that even you joined Jean," he said slyly, looking towards the brown haired boy "As long as I can remember, you were dead set on joining the MPs. What happened ?"

"Yeah well. MPs didn't sound so appealing anymore." he said in an annoyed voice voice, not wanting to explain further. The idiot didn't have to rub it in his face.

"Eren.. Marco died in Trost." informed Armin sadly.

"What!?" Eren's eyes widened as he let the words sink in. He remembered the smiling boy who always remained optimistic. The young shifter couldn't believe that he was dead "How ?" was the only thing he could utter.

"No one knows," replied Connie "Jean found his body while walking through the city during ... cleanup."

Eren looked at Jean and saw that his eyes were hardened and he was looking anywhere but them. His fists were clenched tightly and the shifter could see that he was trying to keep himself in control. They were inseparable during their time 104th training class.

He felt sympathy towards the brown haired boy. Eren is no stranger to loss and he knows that it will take time to heal such a wound.

But what happened next shocked him. Mikasa left his side and put her hands on Jean's shoulder to comfort him. Jean looked towards her, a small smile breaking out on his face. Eren was baffled by this display. In all the time that he has knows Mikasa she has never tried to comfort anyone but him and Armin and that too when they were not surrounded by other people. Also, she has always ignored Jean in the past, this change was not easy to comprehend for Eren.

Had he missed too much in the last couple of days ? But he didn't let his thoughts linger too much on that. Marco's death just strengthened his resolve to wipe the titans off the face of this planet.

"It's alright," Jean said finally "Let's make sure that Marco's death meant something. I am putting all my bets on you Eren" He gripped the front of Eren's shirt and met him with a fierce glare "Prove that we are fighting for something. That we are not giving up our lives for a failed cause. Everything depends on you."

Although his actions seemed hostile to third person but his friends understood that his intentions were good. He was not trying to hurt Eren or start a fight. He just wanted to show Eren that all their comrades that have died believing in him and that failure is not an option anymore.

"I know that," Eren replied in the same determined voice that all their friends are used to hearing "I will make sure that all those deaths were not in vain and one day Mankind will step beyond the walls without any fear of those monsters." He finished.

His eyes were burning with passion and Jean believed that his words were genuine and heartfelt. Jean released his grip on Eren's shirt, satisfied by his answer. Their friends were relieved that it didn't escalate into a fight like the old days

"Now that you have threatened each other," spoke Connie "What kind of training have you been up to Eren ?"

"For now, the only thing that we have concentrated is studying my titan abilities," he replied "That crazy lady with the glasses has been studying what triggers my transformation. She is a brilliant scientist but she is a maniac. On my first day here, she gave me a lecture on everything she knows about titans, FOR THE WHOLE NIGHT! I didn't get a single second of sleep"

He told them with a shudder remembering that nine hour torture. One of the many rules that he has set up for himself is 'Never ask that lady anything'. Everyone laughed at his scandalized expression and even Mikasa had a smile on her face.

"She may be crazy," said Connie "But she is definitely a looker."

There was a perverted grin on his face. Jean had to agree with him there, but he couldn't let an opportunity to tease him pass so easily.

"Just hope that Sasha doesn't hear about that." Jean said with a smirk on his face.

Connie's face went completely red at his insinuation.

"What is that supposed to mean!?" He pointed towards Jean with a mock angry scowl.

Jean didn't bother to reply, just standing there with the same smug expression.

Revenge is truly sweet.

For the next hour, they talked about random things and about the upcoming expedition. Everyone was anxious about the 57th scouting mission and even Mikasa was worried. Although more than herself, she was worried about Eren and her other friends. She knew that they were capable soldiers, but against a real titan even the most experienced fighters could make mistakes. And out there, mistake means death.

It was 13:00 and they had to get back to their own camp and Eren too had to return to his squad. There were still many experiments left, which he was not looking forward to. They exchanged goodbyes and his friends rode off into the forest.

Everyone enjoyed their meeting with Eren and were glad he is okay, even Jean. They were silent on their journey back and once they reached the barracks, Connie and Armin left to their duties.

"Can we go to the training area now ?" asked Jean eagerly "There is still a lot of time before sunset and my duty for today is clean up after dinner."

"Sure." Mikasa simply replied.

So they started walking towards the training area. Jean and Mikasa stretched for warm up

"Will we do the obstacle course again ?" he asked

"Yes, but before that we will use our 3DM gear to practice our maneuverability," she answered "Think of it as a game of tag. I will be moving around the forest at a fast pace and see if you are able to keep up. You will have to be careful about the sharp turns and be flexible to change your trajectory in a very short time. In a real battle, your ability to adapt to every situation will decide if you will live or become titan food."

"Sounds good," Jean replied albeit a little scared by her choice of words.

During their training years, he was the best at maneuvering in the forest, but that was only for a short period of time as everyone eventually started catching up to him and soon he was left behind. First ones to surpass were Mikasa and Annie, followed shortly by Reiner. Even Connie was fast due to his smaller build.

For the next hour Jean followed Mikasa around the forest.

Mikasa was surprised that he was able to keep up well. For first few minutes, he struggled a little but after 10 minutes, both of them were gliding across trees at a very fast pace. Jean still stumbled when Mikasa changed her trajectory instantly without any notice but he was definitely getting a hang of this.

After an hour, Mikasa decided that it was enough and told him to run the obstacle course for the next 5 hours. He had to refill his gas canisters twice during those hours.

Today his best time was 6 minutes and 02 seconds. That is almost 30 seconds faster than yesterday! When he thought about it, his earlier exercise with Mikasa was a tremendous help. This time around, he was easily able to make sharp turns to get to the next target without wasting a lot of movements and was not using gas as carelessly as before.

The raven haired oriental definitely knew what she was doing. Jean would never have been able to improve at this rate if he was blindly running the course by himself. He was glad that he asked for her help. She could easily become an instructor if she wishes to leave the scouts.

After his twelfth run, Mikasa decided it was enough since his cuts were getting shallower and speed declining. Also, it was almost the time for dinner. He had again impressed her with his endurance.

They walked to the mess hall in a comfortable silence both not willing to break the peaceful atmosphere. After putting their 3DM gear away, they got their trays and sat with their friends. Only Sasha, Armin and Connie were there. They were later joined by Reiner, Bertholdt and Krista. As expected, Ymir was behind Krista like a shadow. If Jean thought that Mikasa was overprotective of Eren, then Ymir took it to a different level altogether.

Jean sat on the left side of the table between Krista and Mikasa.

Armin was discussing his own ideas for the upcoming expedition which will take place 2 months from now and everyone was listening closely. They all knew that the short blonde boy was the best strategist among them and his ideas could save numerous lives.

Jean tuned out most of the talk between his friends but his thoughts were interrupted by a sweet and cheery voice.

"Hi Jean, how was your visit today ?" the voice belonged to Krista, the blonde haired angel of their group. The smile that she gave him was one that could melt even the hardest of men, and although his heart was dead set on Mikasa, he couldn't control the light blush that managed to creep up to his cheeks.

"It was fine," Jean managed to reply "He is less of a loudmouth than before but his determination is as strong as always."

"You didn't get into another fight, did you ?" she asked, frowning a little.

"No," he defended "Well, maybe a little threatening and teasing here and there but nothing so serious."

Krista couldn't help but giggle at his answer and Jean gave her a smile.

What they both didn't notice was a pair of grey eyes glaring at them. The raven haired girl gripped the spoon too hard, bending it at an odd angle. She hopes that no one notices her reaction. She doesn't understand why is she suddenly feeling this rush of emotions inside her. It is a very unfamiliar feeling for her and she doesn't like it one bit.

Jean was the first to finish his meal so he wished them good night and retire for the night. Mikasa watched him leave from the corner of his eyes. Usually, both of them were the last to leave after dinner. She just pegged it as him being too tired.

Jean walked out after putting his tray away but instead of going to the barracks, he took his 3DM gear and slowly walked to the usual training area where he practices with Mikasa.

 _"Only two months left before the scouting expedition. I have to be ready for everything that can happen out there,"_ he thought solemnly _"If any of my friends or comrades die under my watch, then all of my vows would have been for nothing."_

Most of all, he had to show Mikasa that he could protect her, that he could stand on equal footing with their batch's strongest soldier and he is willing to lay down his life for good of mankind.

And with determination etched all over his face, he launched himself towards the first target, spinning as fast as he could.


	7. Chapter 7

_Three Weeks Later_

Jean got up at the bustling noises as the soldiers in the barracks started waking up and go through their morning routines. He groaned and put his head back on the pillow. He has been more tired than usual lately because of his secret late night training. It mostly includes practicing new maneuvers and physical conditioning to increase his strength.

The first couple of days when he started training himself secretly, he was barely able to lift himself up in the morning. It was quite taxing on his body and his appetite had increased tremendously, with him giving even Sasha a run for her money. That one fact had shocked his friends.

The first time he ate more than Sasha everyone looked at him weirdly as if they had seen some kind of ghost, embarrassing him a bit.

But it all had not been for nothing, his steady improvement was accelerated by his additional training as he was able to perform maneuvers that even impressed Mikasa. The first time she complimented him, he wanted run around the forest dancing for getting any kind of praise from her.

His strength, stamina and flexibility had enhanced more than they did in 1 year of training, and to think that he could have been top of his class if only he had done something about it. But he didn't let that fact keep him down.

It only took him 4 minutes and 25 minutes to complete the obstacle course. Still not as good as Mikasa, who only took 3 minutes, but he was now better than any of their classmates. Although they both didn't reveal too much about their training sessions.

Connie would usually tease them about their supposed romantic encounters in the forest but would immediately shut up after getting a glare from Mikasa. No one in his right mind would want to anger the oriental beauty.

However, these training session were slowly getting shorter and shorter because of their respective duties. Mikasa being a soldier on par with elites, was now being given more responsibility and was placed with veteran scout members. With their morning classes on scouting formation and teamwork exercises with her squad mates, she didn't get much time to overlook Jean's training.

Speaking of Mikasa, their relationship had improved in these last couple of weeks. Now she was more open around him and even told him stories about her childhood, even if ninety percent of those stories involved Eren in some way.

He had still not asked her about the incident where Eren and her had killed three people. It is a very sensitive subject for her and he would let her open up about it in her own time. Although she did explain to him what happened in Shiganshina with Eren's mother. Jean sympathized with Eren as well as Mikasa. She too lost her family a second time and it had created some deep scars in her heart. Jean hated seeing the pained look in her eyes and wished that she doesn't have to suffer anymore, she has gone though one of the worst childhoods.

Jean is an observant guy and it is clear to him that all she wanted was someone to share her problems with, but had restricted herself from truly opening up to others.

His feelings have grown even stronger in the last three weeks, which he didn't think was possible. While training with her, he would usually get distracted by the way her lithe body moved from one target to another or how her plush and pink lips moved when she speaks. Sometimes, he has to ask her to repeat what she said as he was too busy admiring her beautiful eyes.

He was almost caught on more than one occasion and even if Mikasa noticed she didn't call him out on it. His imagination would sometimes conjure up images of her that made it impossible for him to look directly at her without saying or doing something stupid, especially after a gruesome training session and their clothes are soaked with sweat. Her shirt would accentuate every curve of her body putting him completely under her spell.

He knows that it is a bad idea to get too attached to her since all the roads lead to heartbreak for him. Someday Eren will surely realise what a rare person Mikasa is and how much she cares for him, finally reciprocating her feelings and Jean would just remain a spectator, left alone to cope with the harsh reality of losing her to that loudmouthed idiot. He doesn't know if he will be able to let her go after getting so close to her.

Before his mind could venture further into darkness he got up and went to the washroom to take a shower. As warm water hit his body, he let out a sigh of relief. It really helped to soothe his muscles. He was slowly getting used to the ache after training but it still made him sore in the morning.

He got dressed and on the way to the mess hall he was deep in thought when bumped into someone

"Uh. I'm sorry," then he saw who he bumped into "Oh, hey Mikasa."

"Hi," she replied "What were you thinking about ?"

"Nothing much," he said, scratching the back of his neck nervously "So will we be training at the same time today ?" he asked hopefully.

She looked at him sadly and shook her head "I'm sorry, my squad captain is making us practice emergency drills in case something goes wrong during the mission."

"Nah it's okay. I understand," he tried to hide his disappointment by giving her a smile "Since your squad has all elite members, you will be placed at an important point during the mission. You will need to be responsive in case of an emergency."

Although he understood her reasons, he was still disappointed that he won't be able to spend time with her. When he looked in her eyes he could see that there was disappointment there too. Maybe she wanted to spend time with him as much as he wanted to ?

Nah! That's just wishful thinking. Why would someone like her want to spend time with him. Unlike her, he was nothing special.

They both stood there for god knows how long looking in each other's eyes, unable to move and lost in an entirely different world. Jean could see a myriad of emotions swimming in her obsidian pools but couldn't put a finger on them. However, he is not the only one affected by the other

Lately Mikasa has been finding herself looking forward to spending her time with the brown haired boy. He has changed so much in the last three years that she just can't believe that he is the same hot headed boy who constantly got into fights with her adoptive brother. The same guy who wouldn't shut up about living a luxurious life inside Wall Sina.

Many times she would find his brown eyes looking at her with an emotion which sent butterflies through her stomach. His gaze, so tender and affectionate, sending her heartbeat soar. She knew that he had a crush on her when they were twelve but thought that it would fade away as they grow up but as it turns out, it is still there. Maybe even stronger than before.

But it was not just his eyes that she has been noticing lately. After training, she would more often than not find herself admiring his frame, his shirt clinging to his sweaty body. The thought of being caught staring is the only reason she forces herself to look away.

Last few years have been very kind to him and he has put on a lot of muscle from his training which she got a good look at, the week before. During their training, his shirt got stuck on a branch and due to his momentum, was completely torn. The image of him standing in front of her, shirtless, with sweat glistening on his broad chest and ripped abs had caused a lot of trauma to her innocent mind. The dreams that night had been particularly unforgiving and she woke up panting. Only this time nightmares were not the cause.

He is a very good listener. Mikasa shared some of her happiest as well as saddest moments of her life and he paid attention to every word, making her feel lighter after all their intimate conversations. She considers the 104th trainees as her friends but has never truly opened up to them. All her conversation were kept to a minimum, speaking only when necessary, but with him talking about anything is simple and comforting.

His presence would envelop her like a blanket keeping her warm in the cold. She didn't show it outwardly but his eyes affected her deeply, making her reconsider her feelings for a certain titan shifter. She has openly cared for her adoptive brother doting on him like a mother but it was always returned with an annoyed stare and harsh words.

Everyone thought of her as a cold person who is not affected by anything but inside she is broken and craves the love that has been denied to her for so long. Her purpose in life was quite clear until the tall brown haired boy in front of her entered her life and turned it upside down.

Now she has started hoping. Hoping that maybe she can find someone else to share all her pain and happiness with, someone who she can trust blindly, someone who will hold her when life gets too hard, someone who will love her with all his heart.

Just maybe, the man in front of her is that someone

Loud noises from the mess hall broke them out of the spell and both looked away, cheeks reddened, looking anywhere but each other.

They both silently took their trays of breakfast and sat with their friends, still flustered from their thoughts and the affect they have on each other.

"So Jean, what will you do today?" asked Armin "I was thinking we could do some drills or teamwork exercises. Reiner, you and I have been assigned same position in the scouting formation. It will make it easier to take down a titan, if we encounter one."

Although Jean was seriously considering his offer but he still had to practice something that he has been working for past week. Even Mikasa doesn't know about what he does in his late night training sessions. Even if she was curious, she never questioned him.

"I think that is a great idea Armin, but there is something that I have to do, I'm sorry. Maybe I will join you guys later." he told Armin in an apologetic tone.

"Ah , no worries. It's fine. It was just a suggestion," said Armin with a smile "we could do that some other day."

"I'll join you Armin, it will be great practice for when we face real titans." said Reiner with his ever confident smile.

Reiner was a guy that was respected by all his comrades. He took the initiative and got the work done, inspiring all his fellow batch mates. He was like a big brother for all of them. Even Jean and Eren looked up to the guy.

"Why did Connie and I got the stable cleaning duty?" groaned Sasha.

"Maybe because of another one of your brilliant ideas to steal meat from the kitchen. Again." said Connie, his eye twitching.

 _"Is this girl for real ?"_ thought Jean with a sigh. This was the third time she was caught trying to steal food this week, and it was only Wednesday!.

After breakfast everyone departed to their duties and only ones left were Jean and Mikasa.

"Bye Mikasa," said Jean finally "Uh,... see you at dinner."

"Yeah," she replied. Then she gave him a smile "See you later."

After that she walked away, maybe a little faster than usual while the brown haired boy was still standing there. She looked so dazzling, like a goddess looking down at an ordinary lowly human. He walked to the training ground, in a daze. His brain not capable of any higher level functions for the time period.

Once there, he shook himself awake. He will have plenty of time to think about her later. Right now he had to concentrate on his training.

After six hours of physical conditioning and intense 3DM gear training, he was exhausted beyond belief but he still had his 2nd round of training after dinner. He groaned at the thought but picked himself up and carried himself towards the barracks. Dinner won't be served for another two hours, so maybe he can rest for some while.

What he didn't know was that there was a figure watching him train since the last 1 hour. Although it was impressed quite a lot by his skills, but what made its eyes widen was when Jean started spinning at a very fast pace and made cuts on 3 consecutive titan napes at a very fast pace.

This mysterious person was quite intrigued by the brown haired boy.

 ** _The Next Morning_**

Jean groaned as he woke up from his deep slumber. The sun was shining through the window, illuminating the whole room. He saw that all other cadets had already left and he was the only one left.

 _"Shit, how long did I sleep"_ he questioned mentally " _Is the breakfast already over ?"_ '

He checked the time. It was 07:30, he still had a little time to get ready.

He got off the bed and went to the shower. When he came back to retrieve his gear from his room, he was shocked to see a man of short height and straight black hair standing in his room. The man was none other than the famous Captain Levi, one of the strongest soldier and a titan killing machine.

Jean was intimidated by the short man because he has seen with his own two eyes what he is capable of. The way he took care of the pair of titans that had attacked Eren, Mikasa and Armin in Trost had really shocked him. Also, he couldn't forget the beating that Eren got in the court room during his trial.

What he failed to understand is what could a man of such importance be doing in his room ? He hoped that he had not got in some kind of trouble. The brown haired boy racked his brain to think of any reason that the short captain would visit him but none came to mind.

"Captain," he saluted. He may be scared of the man in front of him, but he still had to respect him as his superior.

"At ease cadet," the captain replied in a bored voice.

Jean relaxed a little but he didn't let his guard down

"If I may ask captain. To what do I owe the pleasure ?" he questioned. Trying that the short man doesn't feel insulted. He had seen that the captain packed quite a punch in his short frame and he Jean didn't want to be at the receiving end of those fists.

Levi didn't answer his question. He just turned and slid his finger under the cot. Dirt accumulated on his finger which he wiped away instantly.

"This place is filthy," Captain said with clear displeasure in his voice "Clean up this place the first thing after I leave."

"Yes sir," Jean sweat-dropped at his command. He had been told that Levi was a clean freak, now he could see why. But is that the only reason he is here ?"Is there anything else that I can help you with ?"

"Hmm..," Levi sighed but continued after a couple of seconds "once you start spinning, try to hold your swords in a reverse grip. It will reduce air resistance and provide a wider arc when swinging. Also, try not to rotate you hips too much, it will only hinder the spinning motion."

Jean was dumbfounded at the captain's advice. Why would he give him pointers for his own signature move.

" _Wait a second... how the hell did he know that I was practicing that_ ".

Had he seen him in the training ground ? Must be it, since he hasn't told anyone about it. Not even Mikasa knows that he has been trying to imitate and perfect a move that is used by the legendary Levi Ackerman himself.

He had never expected the captain to see him, much less give him advice for it. But he was thankful nonetheless. He had hit a plateau when trying to improve that move since he had only seen it once and that too from very far. The move during his practice was very effective but still lacking a little bit, maybe now he can perfect it.

"Thank you captain Levi." Jean again did a heartfelt salute. The man's advice would be a great help in his training.

"Just stop with the formalities already," Levi replied in an annoyed tone "I will be watching you cadet. You are the first one who has tried to copy that technique. I just hope that you will be able to use it before becoming titan food."

Without further words, Levi left the room . Probably back to the castle to watch over Eren.

Jean remembered that he had to get breakfast but when he looked at the clock..

" _Shit, I missed breakfast,"_ he sighed " _Maybe I'll ask Sasha if she would share some of her stacked food with me."_

He groaned " _Just great, now I will owe the potato girl a favour._ "

But desperate times call for desperate measures.

On his way to find Sasha, he saw Mikasa heading out of the Mess hall, deep in thought.

" _probable going to her squad. I won't get to train with her. Again"_ Jean felt a little sad about that but didn't let it linger for too long.

"Hey Mikasa," He greeted "Where are you going ?"

Mikasa was started by the voice and saw that it was the brown haired boy that she had been thinking about. She was worried when she didn't see him for breakfast. But now that he was in front of her, her heart started beating a little faster. All the confusing emotions that she has been feeling lately have really messed her up.

"Hi Jean," she replied "I was just going to meet with my squad."

Then she again smiled at him, sending his heart racing like a horse and all his thoughts became jumbled. He forgot the early morning encounter with Levi.

"Beautiful" he said without realising that he had said that aloud.

 _"Shit. You fucking idiot. You said that aloud. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid"_ Jean cursed himself. He felt like he would die of embarrassment.

Mikasa tried to control the blush that threatened to break out on her face but her cheeks still had a little pink tint to them.

"What ?" asked Mikasa, not able to say anything else.

"Umm... You s-should smile more often," he said shyly "It r-really s-s-suits y.. you"

He managed to stutter out. His face was red as a tomato. Dammit, what was wrong with him ? He was not a twelve year stupid boy anymore. Why can't he speak more confidently in front of the woman in front of him. Only Mikasa could bring out the insecure pre-teen inside him.

"Umm... Thank you." She replied. She was not faring any better than Jean, but she still managed to speak without a stutter, a full blush marring her face.

This was the second time that she had got a compliment from someone other than her parents. Both the times it was Jean who had praised her. Once when they were twelve, he had complimented her long shiny hair and in return she had cut them short, now only reaching her neck. He must have been hurt and thought that she had cut them only because he had found them attractive on her.

Jean scratched his neck, thinking of a way to escape this awkward encounter. He hadn't intended to say that aloud but his mouth had betrayed him. He thought that he had ruined whatever relationship he had managed to established with Mikasa in the last month. He hoped that things won't get too awkward between them after this.

"So, uh... I have to go for training." Jean said finally breaking the silence.

"Of course. My squad will also be waiting for me," She said "I'm sorry that I am not able to train with you."

"Don't be. I understand that our duty as soldiers takes priority," he gives her an understanding smile "See you later."

With that, they parted. Mikasa going to train with her squad and Jean towards his usual training ground.

He still remembered the pointers given to him by Levi and couldn't wait to apply them in his training. He wondered what made the captain so interested in him. He did not have special powers like Eren nor was he a natural genius like Mikasa. It wouldn't surprise him if Levi acknowledges Mikasa's talent and take her under his wing in the near future.

 _5 hours later_

Jean was laying on the ground, panting and felt like his whole body was on fire. His arms felt like lead and getting up was too much of an effort.

Today he had shortened the length of his breaks by half and had run the obstacle course twenty times. It had taken a toll on him, and even with his level of endurance, it was too much for the exhausted brown haired boy.

But all that effort was not in vain. He had taken the advice given by captain to his heart and for the first hour tried to get comfortable with the reverse grip. After that he had practiced maneuvering with that grip and the results speak for themselves.

His response time has decreased and his already fast maneuverability got further enhanced. He was going so fast that, to a novice soldier he wouldn't even be visible. On top of that, he beat his record time by half a minute today! It took him only 3 minutes and 53 seconds to complete the entire course.

By the standard of an average scout, this was phenomenal. For the first time in months, he is finally able to feel a real sense of accomplishment. He is still behind Mikasa by at least 50 seconds, but he doesn't care. He still had a month to prepare for the approaching expedition and he is sure that he would be able to improve further.

But the highlight of the day for him was when he performed the spinning move. Captain Levi's advice did wonders for him. He cut through the napes of three titan cutouts in the blink of an eye and almost decapitated the entire head of the third cutout. The only downside right now is that it takes a couple of seconds for him to stabilize himself after using that maneuver.

All he needs is practice and he has a complete month for it.

 _He is going to make every day count._


	8. Chapter 8

**_3 weeks later_**

 _She walked through the forest and as far as the eye could see, there was red. Corpses of fallen soldiers littering the entire forest floor. Limbs, torsos, heads and other mutilated body parts creating a horrid scenery._

 _Among those corpses, she could recognize her friends. People she had known for years. People that she had started caring for. People that trusted her, that relied on her._

 _People that she had failed._

 _She blinked back her tears. Now was not the time to grieve her losses, she was still in enemy territory and any mistake could lead to her joining her deceased friends._

 _Suddenly, she heard human screams coming from ahead, maybe a 20 meters from her position. She started increasing her place until she was sprinting towards the sound. Something about those screams felt familiar._

 _Her pulse quickened and once she reached the clearing, what she saw would surely haunt her for the rest of her life. Her heart felt like it was going to explode._

 _She saw a 15m class titan was holding a scout between his teeth, ready to bite down. When she saw the light brown hair with dark undercut, it was like the earth itself had shifted beneath her feet. She knew that she won't be able to do anything, she was too far away._

 _The titan chomped down._

 _The sound of screaming was the only thing that she heard, until she realised that it was her own voice_

Mikasa woke up with a start, her heart was racing her entire body drenched in sweat.

She was used to nightmares. Usually, her nightmares are about the death of her parents ,or the day when Shiganshina fell to titans. Earlier she woke up in cold sweat but eventually she got used to those dreams. They would leave her breathless for a few moments but it eventually faded away.

But this nightmare had left her gasping and shook her to the core. She could still hear his screams in her head, begging for someone to save him. Her entire body was shivering and her heart was racing madly.

She tried to move her hands to see if her motor functions were working properly, unlike the nightmare where her entire body was frozen. She raised her hands to her face. She was surprised to find it wet. She was crying.

It felt so real. The forest, the corpses, the titan and finally Jean's death. The boy that had slowly broken the walls that she had built around her, over the years. She thought she had lost most of her heart and what remained, belonged to Eren, but Jean proved her wrong and found something in her that others failed to see.

Since that fateful day in Shiganshina, Eren had become her only purpose for living. She cared for her other friends as well, but her entire being revolved around only one person. She had accepted her fate and become comfortable with this brand of truth.

But he came and stripped her beliefs, leaving her bare in this harsh world. All the years spent to convince herself of her sealed fate, washed away in span of weeks. To the outside world, she is the emotionless ice-queen, not capable of feeling any emotion but he saw the nine-year old girl in her that still hadn't properly mourned for the loss of her parents as well as her adoptive home.

In the beginning she hated him for taking away what she believed to be the only truth of her life but she slowly started to accept that maybe there is still a chance that she can live for herself. That maybe she can find happiness even if Eren is not the one to provide it.

He gave her what she thought had been taken away from her forever. That she herself had taken away from herself.

 _Choice_

He had given her a choice. She could continue to live in her self-created world, where she her entire purpose in life was defined by another person and his goals were the only ones visible to her,

Or she could take her life into her own hands and make her choices for herself. Every move, every decision would be defined by her and she herself would be responsible for wherever that path may lead her.

All she had to do was choose.

"Come on Mikasa, hurry up or we are going to miss breakfast." Sasha's voice interrupted her thoughts.

Her eyes widened when she looked at the time. She had wasted a lot of time in her inner turmoil. She will have to put these thoughts on hold for a while, she had too much to think about and it was already time to start her day.

After hurriedly taking a shower and getting ready, she along with Sasha, Krista and Ymir entered the mess. She saw that all the boys were already seated and were busy in conversation.

Her heart started pacing when her eyes landed on the brown haired boy she had been thinking about this morning. He was discussing something with Armin, probably some strategy for the 57th expedition, which was only a week from now. She knew it was only a nightmare but she felt a flood of relief seeing him sitting there, alive and breathing.

In the last 3 weeks, they had only trained together for about five days only and it saddened her to see his disappointed face whenever she had to refuse his offers for training together.

He would try to assure her that everything is fine and he understood but she could tell that he wanted to spend more time with her. She could see that in his eyes which lost a little bit of their fire whenever he was rejected.

What he didn't know was that she was looked forward to those sessions as well. In those moments, the only thing visible to her were her targets and his face as he is gliding across the forest cutting down makeshift napes one after another. He had improved at a rate that left her amazed. He was still far away from her level but she knew he will not stop until he catches up to her. He is still stubborn as he used to be 3 years back and maybe it is a good thing.

On one hand Mikasa is proud of his growth as a soldier as well as a person but on the other hand, it really scares her how much he has adopted the same ideals as Eren. He is not a reckless idiot by any means but she is scared that he won't think for a moment to put his life in danger for the sake of his friends. She didn't know whether to be happy about this or curse it.

It was already stressing enough that she has to deal with a suicidal blockhead whose goal in life is to take on all the titans and butcher them all but now she also has to deal with an idiot who has developed a serious hero complex.

But despite his quirks, he is a dependable figure, trusted by all his comrades. Their friends already think of him as their unofficial leader because of his skill with the 3DM gear as well as his ability to keep a clear head in adverse situations. Most of them are alive because of him when he led them towards the HQ in Trost district. She knows how hard it must have been for him to leave some of their comrades to die by titan's hands but he did what was necessary in that situation. Mikasa is a good soldier, worth a hundred soldiers some even say. But she knows that she won't be able to take such a decision in the heat of the battle.

Many times after dinner, both of them would sit at the table even after everyone has left and discuss about their past experiences. Those are the times they would truly open up to each other and find comfort in each other's company. They both have their own ghosts to deal with and as they have realised, it is easier when in each other's company.

She remembers the time when she told him about her parents' death and Eren and her killing her kidnappers.

They were laying on the ground watching the stars. Mikasa was telling him about the constellations that Armin had shown them. They were content, just laying there and basking in each others' presence. His peaceful breathing soothed her and at that moment she finally decided to tell him about the day when her life took the biggest turn.

Jean listened to her story and was shocked and furious about what had happened. He couldn't imagine someone being that cruel and had to take long breaths to calm himself down. When he thought about it, titans were not the only monsters that plagued this world, humans can sometimes become even more vicious than the beings that devoured them. Those three traffickers a prime example.

Once she finished her story, he looked in her eyes and saw that she was holding back tears. For her, tears were just a sign of weakness and Jean understood that because he himself hid his tears from the world. But he knew that they were an important part of grieving. So he did the only thing that came to mind, without caring about the consequences.

He wrapped his arms around her to comfort her. At first, Mikasa froze and tried to fight the feeling that was threatening to overtake her entire body but after a couple of minutes, she gave up and put her head on his chest. When was the last time that someone held her in such a warm and comforting embrace ? It has been so long that she doesn't even remember.

They laid there for hours, both feeling like a missing piece of their life was finally found. His heartbeat was a lullaby for her and she snuggled further into his embrace. This was an extremely rare moment of vulnerability for the black haired girl and Jean is glad that it is him that she shared it with.

His scent was intoxicating and the more she breathed in, the more she was addicted to it. He had an earthen smell mixed with fresh grass and leather. She felt like all her troubles can't reach her as long as she remains in his arms. Her own personal sanctuary.

It was quite late and they could get in trouble if caught outside their rooms, especially in such a state and she had to reluctant to let go. Her whole body protested when he removed his arms and she felt cold all over. He walked her to the female barracks and when they finally reached there, she did something that left him shocked.

She turned and put her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest. Jean was surprised by her embrace, but it was a pleasant surprise. She thanked him for listening to her, for giving her a shoulder to lean on. This was a side of Mikasa that no one had seen till now. Not even Eren.

When she pulled back, she was amused to see that his entire face was completely red and his mouth was closing and opening, yet no words came out. She might not show it, but she was pleased that she could get such a reaction out of him.

Since that incident, they have been a lot more comfortable around each other and they never sat separately during their meals. Everyone suspected that something was going on between the two and whenever asked about it, the two would blush and deny such claims. It was really fun for them to watch those two getting embarrassed, especially Mikasa who they have known to be quite heartless unless it concerns Eren.

"Good Morning Mikasa." Jean's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Good Morning." she replied with a small smile.

Another change that everyone was surprised by was that the usually emotionless oriental now smiled more often. Armin was especially glad about it. As long as he remembers, she has been very detached from others except him and his childhood friend and seeing her smile genuinely is a relieving sight.

"We are here too ,you know," Sasha slyly.

"Yeah yeah. Good Morning to you too potato girl." replied Jean with a smirk.

It was quite fun to watch Sasha's face get red over the nickname that she had earned after the incidence with Shadis. Although she had accepted that what she did that day was not the most wise thing, but the nickname still reminded her of her stupidity.

"No need to be rude," Sasha said with a cute pout "It was just a joke."

"You can sit on my seat Mikasa," said Connie in a smug voice "After all I don't want lover boy to be grumpy all day." vacating the seat which happened to be beside the brown haired boy

Everyone laughed at Jean's embarrassed face as he was praying that he could disappear into thin air. It seems embarrassing Jean and Mikasa is their favorite leisure activity these days.

 _"I'll get Shorty for this later,"_ thought Jean, his eye twitching with annoyance at his boisterous laugh _"Yeah, I'll try to make his death as painless as possible."_

Mikasa tried to hide her own embarrassment and quickly took the seat that Connie offered her. The rest of the breakfast consisted of a little good natured teasing here and there and the atmosphere was quite lively.

Mikasa was silent and observed everyone's happy faces, talking and joking with each other.

Last couple of months had made her reconsider the important things in her life that she has been ignoring for a long time. Eren was still her number one priority but now she has a lot more to fight for.

She looked towards her right and saw Jean with a small smile, also observing the happiness on their friends' face. She was sure that he was having the same thoughts as her and when his eyes caught hers, she saw determination burning in them.

 ** _Failure was not an option_**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey Guys**

 **Yesterday I read the chapter 105 which was released this week and it absolutely broke my heart. The death of such a beautiful character but that's what you get when following such a gory series. The death right after such a heart touching moment was quite cruel but can't complain. SNK is still my favorite.**

 **Also I have realised that I have paid very less attention to Mikasa as she is much more than a potential love interest. She is an independent woman who can kick asses of monstrosities ten times her size, so I will focus on her character as well as Jean's (which is still my favourite)**

 **Disclaimer : All characters in this story are owned by Hajime Isayama (105 would have been different if I owned it)**

* * *

 _The day of the scouting mission_

 _With Jean_

It was 09:00 in the morning and Sun was hidden behind thin layer of clouds. There was a cool breeze which helped to ease the mind of a certain brown haired boy. Nervousness was clearly visible on the soldiers' faces, especially those who had never been on such scouting missions.

Jean's squad consists of three other soldiers whose name he didn't bother to find out. They will be at the back of the formation and their chances of encountering a titan is very less. Any titans coming their way would have already been taken care of by either left or right wing.

Jean re-checked his gear and flairs just to be sure. He heard someone approach behind him. He turned to find Mikasa standing there, looking nervous about something.

She was biting her lower lip and tightened the scarf around her neck. All the time spent with her has made him aware about all her quirks. She would bite her lower lip when she wants to say something but is hesitant to speak, she is not great with emotions and these habits remind Jean that she is much more than the strongest soldier of Recon corps. Although, she is very mature for her age, she is still just fifteen year old and hides many insecurities behind her emotionless face.

He waited for another couple of minutes and then sighed. No matter how cute she looked, standing there and fidgeting with her scarf, their mission would start in less than an hour. They didn't have too much time on their hands.

"Mikasa," he said with a tenderness in his voice that sent Mikasa's heart racing "What happened? Is something wrong ?"

"No, I just..," she finally replied "I just... wanted to tell you to stay safe and... Please. don't take unnecessary risks."

Her eyes were pleading to him but he didn't know how to respond to such a request. Of course he is not an idiot who will jump in front of titans like a suicidal maniac, but if there is a chance of saving a life, he will take it. Last few months would have been for nothing if he gives up now.

"I will not take unnecessary risks," He said "but if there is a chance to save someone's life. I won't look the other way Mikasa. That is not what I trained for." He told her softly.

"Please Jean," her voice sounded so desperate "I can't lose you. Please, just promise me that you won't die."

The amount of concern that she held for him touched him deeply, he couldn't express how happy he was, now that the girl of his dreams was finally seeing him as one of her important persons and was scared for his life. But his heart clenched seeing the scared expression in her eyes. First time in her life it was not Eren who she directed all her care towards. He was confused about whether he should be happy or feel bad for making her worry so much.

"I can't promise you that," He said "But I am not going down that easily. Not today."

Her sorrowful expression made him regret his answer. How can he be so dismissive towards her when he always hated Eren for doing the same damn thing ?

He, then got an idea. He looked at his hand. There was an old ring on his fingers given to him by his mother when he joined the Military. It was nothing special, just a plain silver ring that was in need of polishing but for the time being, this would have to do.

He took the ring off.

"Give me your hand Mikasa" he said quietly, almost like a whisper.

"What ?"Mikasa was confused by his request but obliged anyway.

He slid the piece of silver on her ring finger and Mikasa's eyes widened at the gesture, her face taking an interesting shade of red, matched by his own.

"There," he said, happy with his actions "Hold on to that ring. I will come back to you for it. I know I don't need to worry about you. After all, no titan can touch the legendary Mikasa Ackerman." He added teasingly.

Mikasa brushed her fingers against the ring and felt its smooth surface against her skin. Her heart was feeling heavy and she had to control her emotions from bursting out. She looked at him once and before he knew it she threw her arms around his neck and embraced him, her momentum shaking him a little.

He is paralyzed for the first few seconds, but once his brain reboots, he hugs her back. He squeezes her a little so that there is no gap between them. For him outside world doesn't exist right now and the only thing that matters is the woman who has stolen his heart. The woman who, right now, is squeezing the life out of him but he has no complaint whatsoever. His hands running through her silky black hair.

She has a sweet lavender scent. He inhales the scent and is already getting addicted to it. He doesn't know if he will survive this expedition or not, so he wanted his last memory to be of her. Her face, her grey almond eyes, her scent and her soft yet deadly hands running through his hair. It sent tingles down his spine.

A loud cough breaks them out from their world and they look towards their left to see Reiner and Armin standing there. They quickly disentangle themselves, Jean resisting the urge to groan at the loss of her warmth while Mikasa has her usual emotionless expression plastered on her face again as if they weren't sharing an intimate embrace just a few seconds before.

 _"How does she do that ?"_ thought Jean with a sweat-drop.

She bids them farewell and excuses herself. Jean watches her walk away from them, tightening her scarf around her neck. When she disappears from his view he turns towards the two intruders and glares at them with such intensity that Annie would be proud of.

Reiner has a smirk on his face that is really setting Jean on the edge, god help him if he tells the others about what he saw just now. He would never hear the end of it. The endless teasing from Sasha and Connie. _God No !_

Armin was standing there with an guilty smile. He doesn't intend to tease the two about their intimate moment. In fact, he is quite happy that his childhood friend has found someone to look after her. Jean is a good guy and Armin is sure that he wouldn't let any harm come to Mikasa. God knows how many times she has put her life on the line to save Eren and would continue to do so. All she gets in return are glares and scornful words. She herself needs saving sometimes and he is sure that Jean would not hesitate to give up his life, if the need arises.

"Hope we didn't interrupt anything Kirstein" said Reiner, the smirk still present on his face.

"Shut up," Jean growled "what are you here for ?"

"Uhh, s-sorry for interrupting you b-but we have to depart in half an hour," replied Armin, sensing the annoyance in brown haired boy's face" Also the three of us will be following the same path. It would be better to stay close as we discussed."

"Yeah," Jean calmed himself down. The scouting mission is the priority right now, other things could wait. But when dealing with titans, you never know which mission will be your last. He sighed "Let's go to the departing gate, captain won't be happy if we are late."

With that he hopped on his own horse.

No further words were required and they silently rode to the gate. The 57th Exterior Expedition mission had finally begun.

 _1 Hour later_

Jean was riding on his designated path and so far had not come across any titan. He could see the flares from time to time, most of them green, which means that most of them have not encountered a titan yet. It was quite a relief. The last thing he needed to know was how many casualties they suffered.

However, He had a really bad feeling about this mission. It seemed easy, almost too easy and what was the purpose of this mission.? He knew that they were scouting the way to Shiganshina so that they can reach Yeager's basement but it didn't seem like the only objective to him. The amount of time they took to plan this as well as the feeling of foreboding on the commander's face made him quite uneasy. He has not shared his suspicions with anyone else. It would only create more anxiousness among his comrades.

His attention was broken by a black flair, which was near his location.

 _"what the hell? A deviant?"_ He thought _"How can it reach this far in the formation without anyone else noticing ?"_

He sped up his horse towards the flair to investigate. Once he reached there, he saw Armin and Reiner riding behind a 14 meter titan. However, what surprised Jean was the appearance of the titan. It was an average heighted titan but it had a distinct female body. He has seen many titans in his experience in Trost but he has never seen a titan with clearly defined female characteristics like this one.

Aside from the fact that it was a human devouring titan, Jean had to admit that it was quite attractive.

" _The hell is wrong with me ?_ " He mentally chastised himself.

The titan in question was running at a very fast pace, even for an abnormal. Another weird thing about the female titan was that it was completely ignoring Reiner and Armin and was running away from them. He has not seen many titans in his life but he has seen enough to conclude that there is something special about this one.

"What is that thing ?" Jean questioned as he joined Armin and Reiner.

"Don't know," replied the bulky blonde haired boy "that thing has been running for quite some time and has completely ignored us this entire time."

"Guys, I have a theory but I can't confirm it right now" said Armin.

Jean is aware about Armin's analytical abilities and has gained a healthy respect for the blonde boy's intellect. He is the smartest person to graduate from their class and his opinion is highly valued. After all, he was the one that came up with the idea to plug up the hole in wall Rose back in Trost district.

"What is it ?" Jean questioned.

"The female titan is not interested in eating humans. All the people that she has encountered were killed by her but she did not eat them," explained Armin "Also, it has displayed high levels of intelligence which leads me to believe that she is a human with titan abilities like Eren."

Jean is shocked by this new piece of information. He had a gut feeling that something is wrong but the reality is much worse. If she really is a human with shifting abilities, then it will be far more difficult to take her down, especially if they don't know the extent of her abilities or what are her motives.

"But how has she been able to breach the formation this deep without alerting anyone else ?" asked Jean "Right wing should've been able to take care of her, or spot her at the very least."

"The entire right wing has been decimated," Reiner's voice was grim " She brought an entire army to the right wing and they were crushed by the sheer number of the monsters."

Jean couldn't believe it. In a span of few minutes, this entire mission has gone to hell. A complete wing was wiped out by the titans and even worse is that they have an intelligent titan on their hands that brought those titans. Jean hates when things don't go according to plan. How many lives were lost in just one hour ?

"There's also something else," continued Armin "I believe that the female titan is looking for someone."

"You can't mean..." Jean's eyes widened as realization set in, only one of importance among them is Eren with his newly revealed abilities.

"Yes, I think Eren is her target." finished Armin.

Silence washed over the three, neither of them knowing what to say or do in this situation.

" _Just when this expedition was going according to plan. That thing had to come and blow it away. What are we supposed to do now ?"_ Jean tried to think the best course of action.

"But wasn't Eren in the right wing as well ?" questioned Reiner "Why would she wipe out the right wing if Eren is her target ?"

"But my copy of plans have Eren placed in the left wing," said a confused Armin.

"And mine have him in the rear." added Jean.

They were confused about the scouts' deliberate distortion of plans. They have given each of them a copy with Eren positioned at different location in the formation. The only reason they would do such a thing is if they want to hide his location, but why would they do such a thing ?

Then it finally clicked in Jean's head. _The Traitor!_

He knew that the incident two months prior was not a simple case of hate for titans. Someone had killed Hange's test subjects to stop her from discovering anything that would help them in fighting the titans. They were not successful in finding the traitor so they took extra precautions this time to hide Eren from them.

"Where do you think Eren actually is, Armin ?" Reiner's question broke him out of his thoughts.

"I can't say for sure," replied Armin "but I think the best position for Eren would be at the centre of the formation. Just think about it, Eren is too valuable for the scouts so it is only logical to place him at the centre where he will be best protected. Also, the centre of the formation will pass through the forests which will give them plenty of room to use their 3DM gear."

"Well in any case, we have to stop her before she reaches the next wing," said Jean in a clear confident voice "She is too dangerous. Even if we can't kill her, we can at least slow her down."

"But how ?" questioned Reiner "She took out a complete wing by herself. Do you think that we can make any difference ? It is practically suicide."

"In any case, if she reaches Eren, all those lives would've been lost for absolutely nothing. I don't think that they are prepared for this particular titan, " Jean said, gritting his teeth with anger at the female titan "If sacrificing one more life could ensure that she doesn't get to Yeager then it is a small price to pay."

Reiner and Armin were truly shocked at Jean's words. They knew that Trost had changed him but hearing him taking the charge and risking his life so that others could escape inspired them. Both of them were happy that their friend has finally recognized his qualities as a leader and dropped his pompous attitude.

"You have really changed Jean." said Armin with a smile.

Jean didn't reply. His concentration was on the female titan that appeared to be slowing down.

" _Maybe she is tiring out"_ thought Jean hopefully " _if she is, then it is our chance to take her out. I'm sorry Mikasa, I have to do this and if I don't come out of this alive, I hope you will understand."_

Jean sped up his horse and once he was in range, he fired off his gear. The line attached to the titan's back and he sped forward at a high velocity intending to take her down but the turned and swiped at him with her hand. Jean dodged it firing his line again, changing his direction and trying again to get at her nape. Direct approach seemed like the best option right now.

Finally he got the chance to swipe at her nape but at the last second, the female titan brought her hand to her nape and Jean's swipe was blocked. Although, he did manage to cut off three of its fingers. Steam erupted from the stubbles, shocking Jean. She was fast and unlike Eren, she had full control of her titan form. This task just became ten times more difficult.

 _"It protected its weak point ?"_ He dodged another one of her kicks and barely avoided getting pummeled by her fists " _What the hell, she is like a damn athlete. It will be impossible to take her down like this. There are no trees or buildings which limits my mobility."_

Jean managed to make a lot of deep cuts but they healed in matter of seconds. If it was any other titan, it would have fallen down even without cutting out its nape with the amount of damage he inflicted but her accelerated healing made it impossible to keep her down for long. Not to mention that open field is one of the worst places to fight a titan using 3DM.

Jean and the titan were at a standstill. The titan's movements were graceful and calculated while Jean danced around her, both unable to land a damaging hit.

Reiner and Armin watched the fight in awe. Both were unable to believe that it was Jean fighting the titan like some veteran scout. All his movements were quick and clean and his hits had a lot of power in them. If not for this titan's exceptional healing abilities, Jean would definitely have the upper hand.

The female titan threw another punch at him and Jean changed his grip on his swords, now holding them in a reverse position.

 _"You can do this Jean,"_ He mentally prepared himself " _You have practiced this hundreds of times. Just relax your mind."_

He watched the titan's fist coming at him, waiting for the right opportunity. Armin and Reiner watched in horror as Jean didn't make a move to dodge the incoming hit.

At the last second, Jean jumped and started spinning at an alarming speed. What his friends saw next would be engraved to their memories for a long time. Jean cut through her entire arm, only visible to others as a wheel cutting his way up her arm. Once he reached her shoulder he straightened himself and cut horizontally through her eyes. He stumbled at the end but corrected himself few seconds later.

It was extremely risky and Jean decided he won't use this move again until he perfected it. Just a single mistake and his life would have been snuffed out by the monstrosity.

The female titan let out a feral roar as its visual abilities were taken away but she used her other hand to cover her nape.

" _Not this time"_ thought Jean _"I'm taking her down this time. Two successive strikes should do it."_

Putting his plan in action, he shot his line at her nape and sliced her fingers clean off. Rotating himself once in the air he brought his blades down for the final strike but at the last second her skin hardened and his blades shattered as they came in contact with the hard shiny material.

 _"No no no no,"_ He thought with despair," _I was so close."_

He saw that her hand, now healed, was coming at him and there was no way he could dodge in time as he was air borne. He accepted his fate. They say that your life flashes before your eyes just before your death. Jean used to scoff at such things but now that he is facing death himself, he realized how right they were.

He thought back to his life. How he used to be before joining the scouts. The guy who wanted a lavish and comfortable life, doing nothing but lazing around and serving under a corrupted and useless king. Now he felt nothing but disgust at his younger self.

Along the way to achieve that dream he met such an odd bunch of people who he saw as nothing but annoyances in his life. But they are the people who have defined his life and made it much more sufferable. All his friends from 104th training corps are weird but they became a large dysfunctional family that takes care of each other.

Reiner was like a big brother to them all, a charismatic personality that everyone wants to follow. Connie with his light humor and jovial personality. Sasha, the cute potato girl with a never ending appetite and a soft heart, nothing would keep her down for long and she would always have a smile no matter how rude someone is to her. Both of them had an unspoken agreement to life everyone's spirits up when life seemed too grim. Just remembering his stupid cooking competition with Sasha brought a smile to his face.

Bertholdt and Annie were the quiet ones, but even they have helped others during their training. Krista is literally an angel on Earth, caring for everyone like a mother hen. Armin was the brain of the group, coming up with ideas and strategies that got them out of the situations they usually got themselves into

He admits that even Eren has affected his life. Both of them had a rivalry which only they could understand but respected each other nonetheless. Their rivalry is what pushed Jean when he thought of quitting, he couldn't let the loud-mouthed bastard get ahead of him. Their relation could be compared to that of siblings, always butting head with each other.

He also regrets the way he treated his mother, who had done nothing but care for him. She loved him but all she got in return were hateful words and dismissive attitude from her only son. He wishes that he could go back and change it all. To tell her that he loves her and see the smile that would adorn her face. If by some miracle he survives, he will apologize to her for his foolishness.

However, the two people that affected his life probably the most are Marco and Mikasa.

In the beginning, he thought of Mikasa as the beautiful girl who never spoke much and clung to that annoying brat Yeager all the time. However, with time Jean started to observe more closely, trying to decipher the mask that she was wearing all the time. He knew that deep down she longed to be seen as a normal girl and had desires just like any person of her age but her experiences had really messed her up.

She had surrounded that part of herself with a wall of lies. In time, those walls became so strong that she forgot who she was or what she wanted. She had convinced herself that there was only one reason left to live, only one person who gave meaning to her life. He understood her motivation and had decided that he would try his best to prove her wrong. To show her that she has other people that care for her and she can live without the shifter as well. In the last two months he had made more progress than he had made in entire three years of training.

She started opening herself to him and showed him her fears and insecurities. That is his life's most important achievement for him. She had also started smiling more often, most of the time that smile directed at him. He is glad that he was able to see Mikasa one last time before his death. The only regret he had is that he was not able to get her completely out of her walls or tell her the complete extent of his feelings for her. A hopeless and mostly unrequited love.

Finally, Marco was the one who affected him the most. He was the brother that he never had. Only he understood Jean and his motivation to join the Military Police. He was an optimist who saw what others were unable to see. He saw a leader in Jean. A dependable figure who cares for his friends and would willingly give his life away to save them. Jean could never imagine such qualities in himself, even now he is not a leader. He is just a boy who has failed his friends and is going to die because he is too weak. Marco's life was much more worth than his.

 _"I'm so sorry Mikasa. I can't fulfill my promise to you but I am glad I gave you that ring. I hope you will remember me when you look at it."_ He thought with a small smile. _"And Marco, I'm sorry I was not there for you when you left us but maybe I will join you wherever you are now. It will be like old times, you and me against the world."_

"Don't let that suicidal maniac's sacrifice go in vain Jean," screamed Armin ",I saw her kill him. My best friend. His remains were still stuck to her feet. The same feet that she crushed him with. She killed him."

Jean was shocked to see that the titan froze at those words, her hand only a few feet away from him. He was not going to let this opportunity pass and quickly maneuvered out of her reach.

However, he was confused at Armin's words. Why would he say that Eren is dead. If this titan is truly after Eren then she would've known if he was in the right wing. Also they had just established that Eren is not there and most probable position would be the centre of the formation.

 _"What the hell is he saying ?"_ Jean was confused.

He saw Reiner fire his line at the titan's neck, taking advantage of her momentary distraction.

" _Idiot. Direct attacks won't work on her,"_ Jean wanted to help his friend but he was too far away.

He saw Reiner get close to her but she suddenly brought her hand up and caught him in her grip. Armin and Jean were horrified to see their friend struggling in the giant's grasp. Jean cursed Reiner for his recklessness.

The titan brought her thumb up to his head and all Jean could see was blood. Armin screamed

 _"No. Reiner. Why damn it!,"_ Jean cursed himself " _He died because I was too weak to finish her."_

But their grief was short lived as Reiner burst out of her hand, cutting off her fingers. Jean felt relief wash through him. He had forgotten that Reiner was ranked second only to Mikasa, he was not going down that easily. Jean saw the female titan staring at her hand and after a few seconds she started running away from them like she had never encountered them.

"It is retreating," said Reiner "I think."

"No...," replied Armin. A horrified expression on his face "She is going for the centre. She is going for Eren."

Armin screamed the last part. Jean was shocked but realised that he was right. The titan IS going for the centre of the formation. Jean climbed on his horse to race after her.

"What are you doing ?" questioned Reiner "We just barely escaped her. We need to go back and inform others about this."

"You two go back and relay this information to other scouts," said Jean "I will go after her. Don't worry , I won't engage her unless absolutely necessary."

He didn't wait for their reply and sped after the sprinting titan. If she was going after Yeager, then Mikasa will surely be there. He can't let her face this titan alone. Even with her inhumane skill and strength, this titan is on a completely different level. Her intelligence, athletic body and hardening abilities make it near impossible to kill.

 _"Please don't let her get to Eren or Mikasa,"_ he prayed to whatever god was up there.

 _With Mikasa_

Mikasa stood outside the forest of giant trees. She wanted to be close to Eren but that midget captain had her stationed outside the forest. Only his own squad was allowed to be near Eren. Mikasa wanted to protest against his orders but she knew better than to argue with him.

She is worried about Eren. Even though he is in presence of some of the strongest soldiers who have survived many of these expeditions, she couldn't help her nervousness. However, Eren is not the only one she is worried about.

She was also worried about one Jean Kirstein. He was a level headed guy who didn't jump in front of a titan like Eren but she knows that he will not think twice before risking his own life for someone else's. She has seen the shift in his ideals. Initially, the only thing important to the boy was his own survival but Marco's death has brought out a side in him that was hidden behind his thick head and nasty attitude.

Jean might have gave the impression of being a selfish person to everyone but his actions since the invasion of Trost have been contradictory to his attitude. He has great leadership skills and the ability to stay calm in extreme situation, especially where the lives of his friends are involved.

Also, Jean has given her the attention that she has craved desperately since her parents died. Eren did not understand her. He constantly supported her and was protective of her but it was not because of special feelings in his heart. He thought of her as his family and it automatically implied that he has to look after her. It left a longing in her heart, she wanted him to protect her because of the same reasons that she looks after him.

Eren may be a good soldier but when it comes to the matter of heart, he is one of the most clueless people.

She was not able to get that from Eren so she has turned to Jean to provide her that warmth. She knows that he has feelings for her, feelings that go far deeper than what she initially thought. She couldn't fathom his reason to be attracted to her but she was glad nonetheless. He was like her own personal blanket, protecting her from the cold she felt when she was not with Eren.

But she wondered. Was he just that ? A replacement to use for when she was not with the one she loves. Was she just using him to support her until Eren looks towards her ?

No, he is not. He doesn't deserve to be treated like that. Maybe in the beginning she was just using him to fill the gap in her heart but he slowly melted her heart and took a part of it for himself. Whenever she looks into his eyes, she could see an emotion that she knew all too well. After all, she has been seeing that emotion in the mirror all this time.

 _Unrequited love_

She is the only one besides Marco to see Jean's true self and she can't help but be drawn to that person. She can depend on him . She can trust him with her life as well as her heart.

But his personality is not the only thing that Mikasa has been observing all this time. When she joined 104th training corps, he was just a scrawny and weak boy. He didn't seem likely to survive the harsh military training but she was proved wrong once again. His resolve was strong rivaled only by Eren, maybe that's why they never got along well.

Not to mention the wonders that his training did to his body. He was the tallest in their class after Bertholdt. No longer is he the thin and frail kid. He has grown into a handsome young man.

Her dreams, no longer about death and tragedy, were occupied by said boy and her in the most compromising positions. The mornings after that saw her completely flustered and it was difficult to look at him without remembering the sinful dreams.

It became a very annoying distraction for her. During her training she would somehow remember some parts of her it with extreme clarity, parts where he would breathe out her name in a voice which would send electricity shooting through her spine. She knows what her reactions meant as they were taught to them in class, which was an extremely embarrassing affair, but she doesn't know what to do about it.

There was one time during hand to hand combat training with Jean that has been engraved into her memory. They were fighting without holding back, both trying to get through each other's defense. For a second Mikasa left an opening and Jean was not one to waste such an opportunity. He tackled her to the ground pinning her hands above her head, straddling her legs with his own leaving her completely immobile.

It took a few seconds for them to realize their position and both of them blushed up a storm. However Jean didn't make any effort to move from that position and neither was Mikasa complaining about it. Both lost track of time and were looking into each other's eyes, trying to decipher the emotions that were shimmering in them. They eventually broke out of their dream world but dinner that day was extremely awkward for them and it was even worse at night.

Her dreams were particularly vicious that night. Mikasa had to take a long cold bath in the morning to clear all the pictures that her imagination managed to conjure up. But it left an ache in her body that was quite unfamiliar to her.

She brushed her hands against the metallic object on her hand. Its smooth surface easing some of her worries. He will come back to her, there is no doubt about that.

 _"He promised."_ she assured herself.

Her thoughts were broken by a scream from the forest. It was a familiar scream that she heard in Trost as well. Her heart froze for a second.

 _"Eren!"_ her heart sped up _"He transformed ?"_

She kicked her horse into a sprint, speeding towards the direction she heard his titan's scream, orders be damned. She didn't have time to think about her whimsical feelings. Right now she is soldier Mikasa Ackerman, the strongest to graduate from her batch and second strongest only to Corporal Levi.

* * *

 **Do comment if you liked the chapter or if you have any suggestions for future chapters.**

 **Until next time.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys. I'm back with another chapter and sorry for the huge gap between the last chapter and this one. I had my semester exams in May (which completely screwed with me) so I didn't get the time to write further chapters. From now on I will release a chapter every 3 weeks (Approx.) as it is taking alot of time to analyze the original Manga and tailoring it according to my story and characters. It's quite difficult(Afterall, JeanKasa is not one of the most popular pairings) but I hope that you will like this chapter and suggest ways to improve my writing.**

 **A big thank you to 'Haven of Romance' for your wonderful review on my one-shot "No escape". Also, a big thanks to 'critical veinx' , 'Tximeletta' and 'monster646' along with the guest reviews for supporting this fic. You guys are the reason I get motivated to continue with this story.**

 **Anyway, without further delay enjoy this chapter**

 **Disclaimer : All characters in this story are property of Hajime Isayama.**

* * *

 _With Mikasa_

It didn't take her much time to find the path that scouts must have taken. All around she could see green cloaks and mutilated bodies of survey corps soldiers. These were not ordinary recruits, they were veteran soldiers and to see so many of them killed so easily. She couldn't comprehend what could've done this.

Her heart stopped when she saw bodies of three soldiers who she faintly recognized. They all were in the Levi squad, the ones in charge of protecting Eren.

 _"No please,"_ she prayed in her mind _"Let him be okay."_

She finally reached a clearing and saw a familiar 15 meter titan with distinctly muscular body and exposed teeth fighting a titan of roughly same height as him but with a female body. Eren seemed to be having the upper hand as he pinned her down.

Mikasa knew she could not interfere now, it would only distract Eren and cost him this fight. The grip on her sword tightened, feeling frustrated because of her powerlessness despite being one of the strongest soldiers in Survey Corps.

However, she was shocked to see the female titan fight like a professional soldier, all her moves were precise and effective and watched as, slowly, the tables were turned. Mikasa watched in horror as the female titan bit down on his nape and extracted Eren's body out of his titan.

That was it. Her decision to restrain herself has put Eren's life in danger and now he may be lost to her forever. This was not acceptable to the furious oriental.

"GIVE HIM BACK!" Mikasa lost all sense and shot her line towards the tree nearest to the titan.

She lost all her composure and started recklessly attacking the female titan. The titan tried to smash Mikasa into a splatter but she was too fast for even the agile titan. The titan aimed a kick at Mikasa but the raven haired girl shot the cable at her other foot narrowly missing the hit and making a clean cut behind her knees.

This slowed down the female titan making it easier for Mikasa to cut more pieces of flesh from her limbs but the titan was able to grab one of her cables and used its momentum to throw her towards the nearest tree. Mikasa, in a display of pure athleticism corrected the body mid air and shot the 3DM gear towards a tree which was out of the titan's reach.

Launching herself back at the titan she sliced her arms and shoulders but unable to reach its nape. She needed to stop it or at least slow it down. Mikasa managed to cut its Achilles tendon and the titan fell forward on one knee.

She wanted to finish this titan here, capturing her be damned. This titan was way powerful than anything that they have faced before. As she swiped her blade against her nape, her blades shattered. It took her by surprise and she was not able to control her momentum. The titan saw its opportunity and raised its hand to crush Mikasa once and for all.

As her hand descended down, a brown and green blur passed through the titan's wrist, cutting it out entirely. All the raven haired girl could see was a green figure spinning like a wheel too fast for her to see. Mikasa and the titan watched in surprise as her hand fell and steam began to rise out of the stub that was left. Someone grabbed Mikasa and fired its line as far away from the titan as possible taking them out of its range.

She recognized his scent even before she saw him.

 _"How is he here ?"_ she looked back to confirm her suspicion. It was indeed the brown haired boy " _He saved me."_

However, this was not the time to celebrate that he is safe. Eren is still inside her jaw and they have to get him out. She started struggling against him.

"We have to back Jean," she sounded desperate "She has him. We-"

"Mikasa." he tried to explain to her.

"-have to get hi-"

"Mikasa listen"

"-m back or she is-"

"MIKASA." he screamed which finally shut her up.

He cursed himself to see that shocked expression on her face, he had never raised his voice with her. He should have been more understanding of her situation. Her life has been dedicated to protecting her family and right now that family could easily be taken away.

"I'm sorry but look Mikasa" he said pointing towards the black blur that was moving towards the titan "captain Levi ordered me to get you out of there, he said he will take care of that thing."

"But that titan is intelligent and stronger than any titan I have seen," she said worriedly "will he be able to defeat her ?"

"Yeah I saw your fight with her and I have my doubts," he explained "but we have orders and I am putting my trust in the captain."

Jean didn't tell her that he himself had engaged the female titan to take it out, alone, and almost died. She would not be happy with his actions. Jean decided that she does not need to know that small piece of information.

Both of them saw the fight and they would never have believed someone could fight like that if they had not seen it themselves. Now they understood why he was called humanity's strongest soldier. The raw power combined with precision left them speechless.

" _He's fast"_ both of them thought at the same time. Their eyes couldn't keep up with the captain's movements.

In a matter of seconds, the titan had over a hundred deep cuts over its body. Finally, captain went to its jaw and cut both of its cheeks leaving her mouth wide open and Eren was there, unconscious and covered in the titan's saliva. Captain quickly got Eren and got out of there, heading towards Mikasa and Jean.

Jean was busy picking up his jaw from the floor that he almost missed that the captain was addressing them.

"It's time to head back," said Levi in a low monotone voice "57th exterior expedition mission was a complete failure."

Despite his emotionless voice, both teens could see that he was hiding his anger and despair. His entire squad was wiped out by that monster. Jean quietly took the young shifter from Levi and the three them headed back to regroup with other survivors.

* * *

 _In the mess hall_

 _With Jean_

Jean didn't want to eat anything. The day's events have taken a toll on everyone's mind. Countless lives lost and that too for nothing.

 _"We accomplished absolutely nothing,"_ thought Jean angrily _"All those soldiers, the entire right wing killed just to capture that thing and we failed to do even that."_

Everyone at the table was quiet. Even the usually cheerful Connie and Sasha. They knew what they signed up for when they joined the scouts but it still couldn't prepare them for the real thing. Gone were the days when they would sit together, teasing and joking around without a care in the world.

Most of them had not even seen a real titan before joining the military, just a bunch of snot-nosed cadets dreaming of attaining greatness and fame by joining the military. Those days seemed like a lifetime away. Now they were proud soldiers of the Survey Corps and there was not a single great thing about it. Death and despair surrounded them, everyday was a gift that was to be cherished or else only regret would be left before their inevitable demise.

"Is Eren okay ?" Krista said finally breaking the silence. Jean was glad for the distraction, himself wondering about the shifter's condition. The last time he saw Yeager was when they took him back to the castle to recover from his injuries.

" He's alright. Just extremely exhausted from his fight," reassured Armin "You know that guy, nothing can keep him down for long."

"Yeah. He'll be up soon, running around and screaming that he will wipe out the titans" said the brown haired boy.

Mikasa frowned at his words but everyone else chuckled. They knew that he was right. Eren and giving up just didn't go along.

"That female titan must have been quite tough that captain Levi himself had to battle her," said Connie "Is it true that you fought her Mikasa ?"

Mikasa was getting quite uncomfortable with everyone's attention on her, she was not used to being the centre of everyone's focus, especially when it comes to her battling skills. Seeing the uncomfortable look in her eyes, Jean decided to answer for her.

"Yeah it's true and it was a battle to watch," Jean replied on her behalf "Even if not for captain's intervention, Mikasa could have easily taken her down."

The occupants of the table already knew Mikasa was a force to be reckoned with but after hearing him some of them were looking at her with barely hidden awe. While Mikasa was looking at Jean with surprise. He was the one that had saved her from certain death, if not for him she would've been a nice puddle of blood in the middle of that creepy forest.

"Don't sell yourself short Jean," said Armin and Jean's face had an expression that was telling him to shut up but the blonde didn't get the message and continued "I have never watched someone fight like you did."

"Yeah !" agreed Reiner "You definitely fought that overgrown bitch like a badass. If not for her hardening abilities, you would've taken her down for sure. Although it was definitely a close call for both of us."

If in any other situation, he would be happy to receive recognition from his friends. Especially Reiner who was ranked second in their batch but right now all he could feel was dread. Why did he have to bring up his near death experience ?

He slowly looked to his left and saw that Mikasa had her spoon halfway up to her mouth, her hand completely frozen and her bangs covering most of her face making it impossible for Jean to see her expression. He knew that he should've told her earlier about his confrontation with female titan but he didn't want to add to her stress. She was already tired of worrying for her reckless adoptive brother.

 _"Who am I to call him reckless ? I did the same thing"_ He mentally cursed himself.

"Oh," Mikasa responded in an eerie and quiet voice "what exactly happened ?"

Reiner told everyone about my battle with her in complete detail and a part of me was happy about the recognition I was receiving, realizing that my training sessions were not a complete waste of time.

Others didn't realize the change in the oriental beauty's demeanor and continued talking about his fight with the titan but he zoned most of it out. Mikasa stood up abruptly and left the table without any words. Her friends were surprised at her actions.

 _"Why me god ?"_ Jean gulped " _Well, no good trying to avoid the inevitable."_

" Today was extremely tiring. I'll be retiring a little early today. Bye guys." He bid them farewell.

He didn't need to think too hard about where she would've went. He walked for a few minutes, a familiar forest clearing coming into his view, a lone figure is sitting in the middle. He slowly walked towards the girl and sat beside her keeping a healthy distance from her, not knowing what to say or do. He can't afford to upset her any further.

Both of them didn't say anything for some while letting a peaceful silence descend between them. Jean watched as moonlight made her face glow even further, giving her an angelic appearance. He is certain he will never find someone as beautiful and elegant than her.

He was frozen in time feeling unworthy to be in her presence. In his eyes she is a goddess who deserves much more than what this damned world has to offer. He is disgusted with how she has been treated all her life. Her parents were taken away when she was a mere child and Eren's family took her in, then she even lost that family. Eren and Armin were the only family she had now. Maybe she even considered him a part of that family ?

" _She won't be able to bear more losses. Even you are not invincible... Mikasa"_

"Mika-"

"Why ?" she interrupted him, her tone fierce and demanding.

He understood what she was asking. Why did he risk his life like that ? It was completely stupid and the chances of survival were extremely low but he couldn't let that thing continue with its destruction.

"I had to Mikasa," he tried to explain

"Did she attack you directly ?" She asked in the same voice. She was definitely angry and lying to her would only make it worse

"No she didn't but -" he continued

"Then you didn't have to jump in front of her. I don't want you to be a hero" She shouted at him. Jean knows she is not really angry, just scared of losing someone important to her and that someone could have been him if not for Armin

"Why don't you understand Mikasa," he said a little louder "It's not just about me. I couldn't let her get to the centre of the formation. She had already taken out the right wing and if she reached the centre number of casualties would have only increased."

"You promised," Her voice cracked, her fingers rubbing against the ring he gave her this morning " you promised that you won't put yourself in danger. Life has always taken from me. It took my parents, it took Eren's parents, it took my freedom and today it almost took you and Eren away from me. I can't lose anymore."

By the end of her speech she was openly sobbing and this was the first time Jean has seen her break down like this. This is the real Mikasa Ackerman that hid herself behind a stony facade. Each hiccup, each sob was breaking his heart. He made one of the most important person in his life cry and felt disgusted with himself.

Her whimpers were like strikes to his heart and he couldn't control himself anymore. He threw his arms around her waist and pulled her to himself. She didn't struggle for even a second and buried her head in his chest, arms wound around him tightly. She needs to feel him in her arms to convince herself that this is not a dream, that they survived the expedition and he didn't die because of his stupid decision to fight the female titan alone.

His arm rubbed circles on her back while the other was tangled in her hair. Her scent overloaded his senses and he could feel every part of her petite body pressed against him. His body was reacting like any other boy his age but he didn't have it in himself to break this embrace.

It was too much for the teenage boy. She didn't know how much he was being affected by her, his brain completely shut down. Jean tried to take deep breaths and think of something else, anything other than the love of his life pressed against him. All efforts were in vain.

He buried his face in her hair, greedily breathing in her scent, engraving it into his memory. This is one of the happiest as well as the saddest moments of his life. How could anyone make this wonderful woman cry. He can't forgive himself for doing this to her but he knows that he will always put his life in danger if he can save even one person. This is a guilt that he will have to endure, he is a soldier before anything else and when he rides to battle, death rides behind him.

After about 20 minutes she starts to calm down and relaxes in his arms. He starts to untangle himself from her but she tightens her arms around him.

"No. please," she whispers " A little longer."

Jean is surprised by this and more than happy to oblige. For him, any amount of time spent with her is insufficient. He is utterly screwed, completely addicted to her and too far gone to ever return. She is his reason for living just like Eren is for her and nothing would change that now. He can't pinpoint exactly when his crush turned into this undying love but it's too late now.

Even if she chooses Eren over him when the time comes, he will respect her decision but it would still not stop him from watching over her, protecting her as well as her happiness. If someone deserves a happy and peaceful life, then it is her. Whoever said that love made you stupid was absolutely correct.

Mikasa looks up to him with her swollen eyes and wet face sending another pang of guilt through him. He softly wipes the tears away from her cheeks. She doesn't protest to his gesture, instead she snuggles her face further into his hand making his entire body feels like it would burst up in flames.

She places her own hands on both of his cheeks, lighting up his skin wherever they touched. Both of them are frozen, feeling a strong pull towards each other but hesitant to act on it. Finally, Mikasa closes her eyes and closes the gap between them.

A dam breaks inside when he feels her lips on his own, a violent rush of emotions swirling inside him. He has waited for this moment for years. Their first kiss is soft and sweet, both testing each other's reaction. However, it is nowhere near enough for them.

Jean attacks her lips again, this time with ferocity fueled by his years of pent up frustration and longing. She did not expect this reaction but she was far from complaining. Her insides bursting with a need for him. Their lips moved in perfect harmony with each other, like they have been doing this for years.

They don't remember when she laid on her back and he covered her body with his own, his arms trapping her beneath him. Mikasa's petite body could feel his entire body pressed against her own, enjoying the feel of his muscles and the unnatural warmth that he seemed to be emitting.

How much time has it been ? One hour ? Two hours ? They don't care, too lost in their own world.

Finally Jean supports his entire weight on his arms, putting a little distance between them. Both of them are completely out of breath and it was not just because of the kisses. The look in the other's eyes is what is affecting them so deeply. Even if their kisses were not enough to express their feelings, their eyes said it all. It was too late to turn back now and whatever happens from now on, they will have to bear it. No more running. No more hiding.

"Mikasa," he whispered in her ear. His tone sending her already high heartbeat skyrocketing.

She doesn't reply, just places soft kisses on his cheek, his jaw and finally at the corner of his mouth. She doesn't want to ruin this beautiful moment with words. They will talk about this later, right now she wanted to bury herself in his affection.

Jean agreed with her and buried his head in her neck, breathing in more of her. He got an idea, which was probably very stupid, but right now he does not care about consequences. He shifts her scarf a little and sucks at her pulse biting down softly, earning himself a pleasured gasp for her. He sees his handiwork, a red mark clearly visible on her neck.

He hopes that Mikasa won't kill him for it but her expression doesn't hint at any anger. He is shocked when she buries her head in his neck and leaves a similar mark on his neck. Her face turns deep red at her own actions.

"I'm sorry," she whispers to him "I don't know wh-"

He stops her mid-sentence with a kiss on her lips.

"It's okay Mikasa. I did it to you first," he assures her "In fact, I would proudly show it to the world, showing them that I belong to the most amazing girl in the world."

Her heart swells at his confession and a smile adorns her beautiful face. This smile is not one of her forced ones. It is pure and simple, one that he has not seen on her face often enough. He made it his mission to not let that smile disappear again. She no longer needs to hide her emotions from the world.

 _"I'll never get tired of seeing her smile"_ He sighed and laid on his back beside her.

Mikasa snuggled up to his side, her head resting on his shoulder.

What an eventful day it has been. He almost got killed by an intelligent titan who has skills even Eren cannot match, the said shifter almost got kidnapped, their mission resulting in a complete failure and finally kissing the woman he loves more than anything else.

The last part made it a little bit more bearable. Being here with Mikasa, it almost seems like one of his dreams which he never wanted to wake up from. She has got so much power over him and she has got absolutely no idea about it.

However, his mind is also occupied by the upcoming trial. Eren's future depended on the success of this mission and the chances of him getting a second chances are extremely slim. He will most probably get handed over to Military Police who are going to experiment on him and unlike Hange, they are not going to make it harmless.

He can't let that hothead suffer such a fate. Part of it is because of the woman in his arms right now and partly because he also considers Eren a friend and he had made a vow that he will protect his friends no matter what. He can't afford to lose more of his friends, he even considers the 104th classmates as his family. A disfigured one but family nonetheless.

"Let's go Jean," Mikasa interrupted his thoughts " We will get in trouble if anyone sees us out here this late."

"Yeah," Jean replied, although his voice betrayed his desire. Desire to remain like this forever but she was right, they have to get back or they could be punished by their superiors. Also, their friends must be wondering where they disappeared to.

They walked to the barracks, his hand interlaced with hers. It is quite late, so no one will notice them walking towards the building, hand in hand. When they reached the corridor which separated their rooms, they reluctantly let go of each other's hands.

Jean doesn't know what the hell he is supposed to do now. All his confidence from earlier has completely abandoned him as he looks shyly towards her.

She is not doing much better herself. It was so easy to express themselves in that clearing, away from the unaware of the world. Only now is the realization of their actions being processed by their brains.

They stood there for a few awkward minutes and finally Jean decided that it is not as big a deal. He has been pining for her affections for a very long time and in their job there is no certainty of surviving. Each day is a gift and what better way to spend it than being with the one you love.

He bent down and kissed her, much more gently this time. She kissed him back and he smiled in the kiss.

 _"I could get used to this."_ he thought.

After a few moments, they broke their kiss and said their goodbyes, both blushing the entire way to their room.

They don't know what this is but both of them didn't want it to stop. Both were afraid of these new emotions but they may not get a chance tomorrow or the day after. It was easier to explore the unknown now rather than regretting a lost chance for the rest of their lives.

* * *

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter and do post your reviews if you liked it, also review if you didn't like it suggesting ways in which I can improve it.**

 **Also,I could really use some suggestions for the Stohess Arc .**


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